Ruth’s Back Pain, Long COVID and Recovery. Part 2 – Long COVID begins

Many people endure back pain; for some it is severe back pain. As Ruth explained in the previous post, her experience was quite severe - as it has been for many others - but for Ruth, the back pain was then overlaid with Long COVID. 

While the illness nearly did kill her, she is now recovered and is keen to continue her story to add to the record and open more enquiry around this emerging and perplexing condition called Long COVID. 

Also, read on below for outlines of the meditation retreat and meditation teacher trainings Ian and Ruth will present in 2024, but first

   Thought for the day

       I am being driven forward


       Into an unknown land.


      The pass grows steeper,


      The air colder and sharper.


      A wind from my unknown goal


      Stirs the strings of expectation.

      Still the question:
Shall I ever get there?


      There where life resounds,


      A clear pure note


      In the silence.


                     Dag Hammarskjöld

Ruth continues to recount her story:

Having COVID itself was relatively minor for me. In June 2022, six months prior to the successful back surgery, I contracted a moderate COVID 19 infection which seemed straight forward enough at the time; a flu-like illness that lasted 9 days with quite a bit of coughing. Although debilitated by what had been by then a year of excruciating back pain, I was not worried by COVID and believed I would recover fully. I had been vaccinated three times as recommended and indeed, I recovered uneventfully. 

However, trouble was brewing. 

Since my third booster vaccination back in January 2022, things had been changing significantly. 

Visceral anxiety had begun to fill my days and this was really odd; I had been a daily meditator for decades. I was often described as a “very calm person”. 

Yet at the same time, I was becoming more and more fearful; abnormally fearful of just about everything. 

Quite soon, insomnia emerged as another major issue; getting to sleep became harder and harder.

Self-doubt and loss of faith was also on the rise; it was hard for me to know how many of these difficulties were coming from living the past year with major, chronic pain, the 14 acre property we lived on needing regular attention, or how much it could be attributed to my sensitive nature and all the upheavals associated with the COVID lockdowns?

At first, I did not imagine the vaccinations had contributed to all this, even though the rise in anxiety and sleep disorders clearly started straight after that third vaccination. Also, about a week after that third and most recent vaccination in January 2022, I had woken up at 3am with an almost over-whelming surge of anxiety in my stomach, and the urge to empty my bowels. Very odd, I thought at the time... 

But there was a lot more to come. Two weeks after recovering from the actual COVID infection, Ian and I were sharing a delightful meal together at a restaurant near Gundagai - Nimbo Fork Lodge, a sort of half-way stop over to Sydney. We ate the same food and really appreciated it; delicious! We were enjoying ourselves on the first evening after leaving home on one of our road trips. Ian was fine; but suddenly, I was not. 

A very strong wave surged over me with tingling sensations racing through my head and down into my hands, leaving me feeling like I would faint. 

It was so dramatic, I actually wondered if I had been poisoned, and my mind flashed to images of Russian dissidents being done away with. 

Ian watched on as I could do nothing else but slide to the restaurant floor. 

As I lay prone in the middle of the restaurant, and with his eyes wide in disbelief Ian asked 

"How are you feeling? You have gone as white as a sheet”. 

I replied, “I feel like someone has injected me intravenously with a bolus of atropine”.

I asked, “What was that drug they gave Putin’s competition, that nerve drug?” 

My whole body was now alive with pins and needles and I was very lightheaded. All very suddenly. 

Being a doctor, my mind soon turned to more logical explanations… maybe a Transient Ischaemic Attack (mini-stroke) I thought, as I lay on the floor. Maybe I had been so stressed by a year of severe backpain and now this travel, that I had simply overdone it? But then I had felt OK all day! My mind continued to search for an explanation.

Not only was I fully conscious this whole time but I could think and communicate, even problem-solve. 

I was trying to understand why my cardiovascular system was responding so abnormally. 

My heart rate was very low, around 50 beats per minute and yet my Blood Pressure was also very low. 

This was really odd. 

For a healthy person, if your blood pressure drops, your heart rate will speed up to compensate. 

My heart was doing the opposite; I had low blood pressure and a low heart rate. Very odd.

With me collapsed on their floor, naturally the restaurant staff were quite concerned. Also, not surprisingly, all the customers at their tables in the small restaurant were now staring at me. Being in a remote area, the manager wanted to call the air ambulance, but I said I was a doctor and I would prefer to remain on the floor and see if I recovered.  Ian reassured them, and eventually, after about half an hour, the sensations and light-headedness diminished. Slowly I sat up and then scrambled back on to my chair. We skipped dessert!

Returning to our accommodation, it took me another 4 hours to recover fully; then I slept uneventfully. The next day I was feeling fine with no trace of the drama that had occurred the night before. Weird…

So on we continued with our journey to Sydney; then ten days later it started again. This time it was mid-morning when I felt the light-headedness coming on. More slowly this time, but with the same tingling sensations. Fearfully, I told Ian, “It’s happening again”. 

We consulted with a medical specialist friend and on his advice, high-tailed it to Accident and Emergency. The rest of the day was spent with me on a hospital trolley bed in one of those open-at-the-back hospital gowns while I was examined periodically, and a huge battery of tests were performed; all of which came back normal. 

Come the evening, a diagnosis: “Post-Covid Syncope”.  I was told they knew very little about it, but to rest and drink lots of fluids. Not particularly re-assuring, but later in the evening I had recovered well enough to leave the hospital. Next day, feeling fine again!

We had bookings to honour; people were expecting us, and we did not want to let the team down, so we kept going with our “Travelling Roadshow” (as we called our multi-city tour of meditation workshops and organisational meetings for our Buddhist Community - Rigpa).

A week later we were in Adelaide where I was in the front row listening to Ian giving an evening talk on meditation. 

Feeling happy to be sitting with two long-term cancer survivors who had come to our groups many years before, my mood changed quickly when the same symptoms recurred yet again. 

Quite quickly, I realised I could no longer remain upright on my chair and eased myself slowly onto the floor, trying not to disturb the rest of the audience. 

Ian could see I was basically OK and kept talking as if nothing was happening.

This time my mind quickly began to wonder if I had something major going on, like an endocrine tumour, a major brain problem, or something even worse. In a helpful synchronicity, a kind friend who had seen me collapse and who had joined in comforting and supporting me, offered me his own Endocrinology appointment for the next day. 

Again, the symptoms improved quite quickly and then cleared within four hours. However, next day I did meet with the Endocrinologist; a wonderful old-style physician who asked me questions and examined me thoroughly. His conclusion? 

“I think it’s probably one of those Post-COVID syndromes”. He suggested a series of blood tests for when we returned to Melbourne, “to exclude any other rare causes”. This I did, but again, everything measured – and that was a lot - came back normal. Reassuring in one way, but still leaving a mystery unsolved.

We had one more commitment to fulfill, so with some trepidation, next we flew to Brisbane. By now what had started out as an episodic condition was becoming chronic. I was feeling worse and worse. 

The dysautonomia was becoming constant – the low heart rate accompanied by low blood pressure, and with this came feelings of fainting, nausea, a severe disinterest in food and ghastly sensations throughout my body. 

At the same time, sleep was becoming more and more elusive.

I was exhausted yet “wired”, I was unable to relax physically or mentally, and perhaps worst of all, I could not meditate. 

I felt so bad, I said to Ian “I feel like I am dying”. 

We just made it home, and I knew I would not be able to travel again until I had recovered.

So now, I was doing my best to manage my ongoing continuous and debilitating back pain, while feeling increasingly miserable with this little recognised or understood syndrome more recently described as Long COVID. 

And unhappily, it was about to get even worse…

In the next and final episode, Ruth recounts her darkest days with Long COVID, describes the many things she attempted in her efforts to recover, and then what finally made the difference, leading her back to good health.

RELATED BLOG

Ruth's Story Part 1 - Back Pain

ADVANCE NOTICE – save the dates; full details including bookings available soon… 

Meditation Teacher Training in 2024

With Ian and Ruth Gawler

supported by Murray Paterson and Sandy Clinton

                     Aspiring to teach meditation? 

        Or keen to expand and deepen your skills?

Are you applying for registration with Meditation Australia and need an approved course?


Ian and Ruth Gawler have been teaching teachers of meditation for decades.

The two trainings for 2024 will both be manual based, be sound in theory and be highly experiential. 

There will be many practice sessions where you will be encouraged to experiment with your delivery style and to hone it. 

You will be guided and supported to develop confidence and competency.

All programs will be in-person only, fully residential, at the Yarra Valley Living Centre.

WHY IN PERSON ONLY? 

WHY NOT ONLINE???

Would you trust a surgeon to operate on your brain that had only trained online?

Enough said...

Meditation Teacher Training – Part 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation

Monday 6th to Friday 10th May, 2024

This is a basic yet thorough training in how to present a meditation course, whether in-person or online.

A comprehensive approach to meditation that covers preparation, relaxation, concentration and mindfulness plus stillness. An approach to meditation that goes to the very essence…

Theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more…

Developed for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.

Meditation Teacher Training – Part 2: Contemplation

Saturday 2nd to Wednesday 6th November, 2024 

- including Melbourne Cup holiday for Victorians

So many people in so many domains recommend the benefits of contemplation.

Yet who is teaching how to do it? Very few it seems…

This training will position you to be able to offer your community something of great value – a reliable way to practice contemplation. This training is also manual based and will enable you to deliver a much-needed program.

Of great personal value, this training is also suitable for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further. It too will be highly experiential, as well as delving into theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more. 

Criteria to join these Meditation Teacher Trainings

Both trainings are broad. They are both specifically designed to be accessible and valuable to beginners and the more experienced teachers. In past trainings, this mix of participants has made for a very engaging cohort.

It is recommended applicants need at least 2 years of regular meditation practice and some experience with speaking in public. All applicants will be requested to discuss the suitability of the trainings for their needs and situation with our training manager.

MEDITATION IN THE FOREST – 7 day Meditation Retreat

Saturday 22nd to Friday 28th June, 2024

With Ian and Ruth Gawler

supported by Melissa Borich and Sandy Clinton

It is back! 

After COVID, lock downs, so many ups and downs, join us for this 7-day retreat.

Relax.     Let go. 

Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley. 

Be cared for with delicious plant-based food and plenty of free time.

Be reminded of the theory and practice around meditation as Ian teaches in depth on mindfulness, awareness and stillness. Experience the inherent joy and love that flows from the depths of meditation; those depths that can be reliably reached when we take time out, let go of day-to-day activity, and rest in deep, natural peace.

 

FULL DETAILS COMING SOON – SAVE THE DATES

 

 

 

Ruth’s Back Pain, Long COVID and Recovery - Part 1 – Back Pain

How has 2023 been for you? For Ruth and myself, it has been formidable – major adversities, major challenges, major changes. Life at its most florid. 

There is some joy; we did survive; we learnt a lot, we lived a lot and in 2024 we will offer two meditation teacher trainings and a meditation retreat (details below). We do wish all of you who keep in touch and read this blog, all the best over the festive season, and another heart-felt wish that you, and all you care for and love, thrives throughout 2024...

Now, there is that saying that seems to me both apt but a bit tiresome these days: “What does not kill you makes you stronger" Happily for Ruth, what she has been through did not kill her; not quite. 

Now recovered, Ruth is keen to share her story in the hope it may help others, both by establishing yet again it is possible to recovery from very difficult health issues, and also to stimulate deeper thinking around Long COVID, but first

   Thought for the day

     Doesn't everything die at last, 

     And too soon?

     Tell me, what is it you plan to do

     With your one wild and precious life?” 

                         Mary Oliver

Ruth’s story:

“Sea Kayaking is one of those delights that can come at an unexpected cost; sometimes a long-term cost. Despite Ian and I being absolute novice kayakers, the prospect of exploring the famed Ningaloo Reef was too good an opportunity to pass up; let the paddling begin…

So on a fateful day in early June 2021; 

our first adventure – an all day tour. 

A gentle introduction with the wind behind our backs. 

Easy. 

With minimal effort we glided down the reef: catching glimpses of coral and the occasional turtle. 

Delightful.

But then lunch, and the return… not easy at all! 

Quite a strong head wind! 

And the tour guide struggling to remember where his bus and trailer was, resulting in a couple of false landings and much more paddling before we finally made it back to our starting point. Tough but manageable...

Two days later, another inspiring location near Monkey Mia with its famous dolphins, and we decided to have another go. 

Again, easy out, tough coming back; and really tough this time. 

As before, Ian was in the front position, me in the back, as I had the two legs required to control the rudder via pedals deep in the kayak. 

However, because of a strong crosswind, there was a constant need to twist my back and extend my left leg to get the right pressure on the rudder and hold our course. 

After a difficult two hours, the tour guide took Ian into his kayak, and I was left in the back seat of the one we had shared. 

For the whole trip it was “fast as we could”, vigorous paddling.  Working against this strong  wind, coming in at an angle, caused increasing muscle tension all over my body. Faced with no real option - we had to return - I ignored the twisting and the strain in my body, and kept paddled on. 

Eventually, limp with fatigue, we did manage to make it back to our landing place! But there was more! Next we needed to drag the heavy kayaks quite some distance across the sand and hoist them onto the trailer. Finally, we slumped into our seats on the small bus, quiet and exhausted for the long drive back to our accommodation. In all, my lower back had been uncomfortable and under pressure for about six hours. 

So ended our second sea kayaking adventure as we tried to make the most of the enormous distances we
had travelled to see parts of North West Australia that we had only heard about. 

The next week we continued our tour in a motorhome as we made our way down to Perth. 

All the while, the ongoing niggle on the left side of my lumbar spine continued. 

Then from Perth to Melbourne in the much-vaunted Indian Pacific train. In fact, the train’s rattling and jiggling just further aggravated my back. 

By the time we arrived home, we had travelled for 9 weeks and covered 12,000kms by road and I was in trouble. 

Wonderful, wonderful trip, but soon after our return, I was woken one morning at 6am with terrible back pain and spasms on the left of my lower spine. This pain was so strong it rendered me unable to move, and worse, it soon became chronic, continuing throughout the day and night. I could not walk normally for the next year and a half. It really was extreme. 

Now for context, I do have a somewhat delicate back. 

I have experienced back problems in the past,
including requiring surgery many years ago that had been very successful. 

So for the previous 10 years I had been fairly diligent with regular exercise and nearly daily yoga while consistently eating an anti-inflammatory, whole food, plant-based diet. 

This regime had seen me pain free throughout this time up until the kayaking episodes.

But now, this left-sided back pain had me experiencing high level pain almost constantly. My mobility was greatly reduced, it was hard to find a comfortable position by day or night, and I was very limited in what I could carry. With Ian being not much better when it comes to what he can carry over distances, we needed help whenever there was something heavy to move. 

In attempts to heal, I used all the techniques I have found personally helpful and taught to others over many years. 

All with minimal benefit. 

So over the next year I consulted four different physiotherapists, including two reputed to be amongst the very best in Melbourne.

 I religiously followed the combinations of rest and exercise they recommended for me, yet one by one, these regimes proved unable to remedy the ongoing severe pain and immobility. My pain became worse with everything I tried.

At the same time and of necessity, I began trying various pain-killers and anti-inflammatories to manage my life; starting with the natural ones but working into the stronger conventional medications- ibuprofen, voltaren, celebrex and so on. Never used opiates.

During this same time, I consulted no less than seven different orthopaedic surgeons and neurosurgeons. 

X-rays, MRIs, PET scans, blood tests…facet joint injection, but non felt surgery was appropriate. 

Finally, an epidural injection revealed a trapped nerve in the lumbar spine at L4/5; although this injection caused problems in its own right. 

So, another consultation with the next neuro-surgeon. 

This time we were advised an operation had about a 50/50 chance of success with little risk of making matters worse. 

Being seriously desperate by now, these seemed like reasonable odds. So finally, in January 2023, the trapped nerve was released by a surgical laminectomy and the pain reduced to almost nothing. A great result for the back, but there was more to all this…

The Divine had more to teach me than “just simply” dealing with chronic pain.

Long COVID was adding a whole other level of complexity…

In the next post, Part 2, Ruth describes how a mild infection with COVID descended into the horrors of Long COVID…

ADVANCE NOTICE – save the dates; full details including bookings available soon  

In 2024, Ian and Ruth Gawler will once more offer a meditation retreat and 2 meditation teacher trainings.

Meditation Teacher Training

With Ian and Ruth Gawler, supported by Murray Paterson and Sandy Clinton

Aspiring to teach meditation? Or keen to expand and deepen your skills?

Are you applying for registration with Meditation Australia and need an approved course?
Ian and Ruth Gawler have been teaching teachers of meditation for decades.

The two trainings for 2024 will be supported by a manual, will be sound in theory and highly experiential. There will be many practice sessions where you will be encouraged to experiment with your delivery style and to hone it. 

You will be guided and supported to develop confidence and competency.

All programs will be in-person only, fully residential, at the Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia.

Meditation Teacher Training – Part 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation

Monday 6th to Friday 10th May, 2024

This is a basic yet thorough training in how to present a meditation course, whether in-person or online.

A comprehensive approach to meditation that covers preparation, relaxation, concentration and mindfulness plus stillness. An approach to meditation that goes to the very essence…

Theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more…

Developed for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.

Meditation Teacher Training – Part 2: Contemplation

Saturday 2nd to Wednesday 6th November, 2024 (inc Melbourne Cup holiday for Victorians)

So many people in so many domains recommend the benefits of contemplation.

Yet who is teaching how to do it? Very few it seems…

This training will position you to be able to offer your community something of great value – a reliable way to practice contemplation. This training is also manual based and will enable you to deliver a much-needed program.

Of great personal value, this training is also suitable for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further. It too will be highly experiential, as well as delving into theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more.

Criteria to join these meditation teacher trainings

Both trainings are broad. They are specifically designed to be accessible and valuable to beginners and the more experienced teachers alike. In past trainings, this mix of participants has made for a very engaging cohort.

It is recommended applicants have at least 2 years of regular meditation practice and some experience with speaking in public. All applicants will be requested to discuss the suitability of the trainings for their needs and situation with our training manager.  

MEDITATION IN THE FOREST

Saturday 22nd to Friday 28th June, 2024

With Ian and Ruth Gawler, supported by Melissa Borich and Sandy Clinton

It is back! After COVID, lock downs, so many ups and downs, join us for this 7 day retreat.

Relax. Let go. 

Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley. 

Be cared for with delicious plant-based food and plenty of free time.

Be reminded of the theory and practice around meditation as Ian teaches in depth on mindfulness, awareness and stillness. Experience the inherent joy and love that flows from the depths of meditation; those depths that can be reliably reached when we take time out, let go of day-to-day activity, and rest in deep, natural peace.

                  FULL DETAILS AND BOOKING ACCESS COMING SOON

The Watch and the Bracelet – life’s conundrum in a simple story…

Take your mind back to the era before smart phones. That time when watches were watches. They told the time; that is what watches did. And sure, they could look pretty, so they did have a secondary function – as adornments, but basically we used them to tell the time.

So here is a gentle challenge… Imagine you only knew your watch to be an adornment. Imagine that rather than being a timepiece, you thought your watch was a bracelet.

Not too hard a mistake to make, but we could fantasise about the consequences, and what such a mistake could teach us about our very own minds, but first

  Thought for the day

    No one knows how to describe the mind’s essence.


   If one describes it by analogy, 

   There will never be an end to describing it.


   You can use many synonyms and terms for it,


   Names such as “mind,” “self,” “alaya,” and so on,


   But in truth, it is just this present knowingness.

             Karma Chakme Rinpoche 17th C 

What a wonderful life it is when spectacular human beings like the Tibetan Buddhist master Mingyur Rinpoche comes to your hometown and offers teachings. Author of “The Joy of Living”, and the monk who left the world behind to go on a 4 year wandering retreat in India with no money or support, Rinpoche has a clarity, good humour and wisdom that is exquisite.

This weekend past Mingyur Rinpoche taught on open awareness meditation and aspects around life, death and dying, and the transitions in between – fabulous and a delight to be there. Rinpoche told this story which is recounted here, with any errors being mine; although it is a simple yet profound story and hard to get wrong…

So… imagine again you have made the mistake of thinking your watch is a bracelet; and we are in an age where there are not many other clocks around. So you are regularly late, maybe even early, for everything, including work. Your boss likes you, but you become increasingly unreliable, so eventually you get fired. Then you lose your car, your house, everything goes from bad to worse, and you end up on the street. 

After a while an old friend spots you!!! 

“Whatever happened to you?” 

“I lost my job, and then my whole world fell apart “ 

“Why did you lose your job, you were good at it.” 

"Yes but I was always late for things…” 

“How come?” And pointing to the watch, “Didn’t you look at your watch?” 

“Oh, I don’t have a watch, this is just a bracelet!” 

So off course, the friend tries to point out that no, it is not just a bracelet; it is in fact a watch.

At first, you are in disbelief; incredulous. “No this cannot be a watch! I have had it for years. It is a bracelet.” “No it is a watch. Look there is a dial, with hands, the hands move around and tell the time… “
Gradually you overcome your doubts, your embarrassment, your shame, and realize you really did have a watch all this time, and learn how to use it. Before long you make a new start, you are punctual and you rebuild your life. And so it goes…

Now take this analogy to our minds. Each one of us has a mind with 2 major functions, and many of confuse these functions, effectively taking our minds to be a bracelet; not a watch. 

The basic function of our watch is to tell the time.

The basic function of our mind is to operate in accord with its true nature.

The watch has a major, secondary function – it can act as a bracelet. 

It can be an adornment that reflects our aesthetic, our taste, our status, our choices.

Our mind has a secondary function – through its capacity to think and express emotions, it can be a servant that supports its primary function. 

That primary function of the mind, to act in accord with its own true nature, results in the mind operating from a place of pure awareness, love and wisdom. 

The secondary function, the thinking, emotive mind can be a real mixed bag of good, bad and indifferent; and worse, it often takes us over and does its best to rule our lives through its conditioned and habitual ways of thinking and acting.

So I loved hearing this story, this analogy from Mingyur Rinpoche. Got we wondering, how can we get over treating the mind like a bracelet, and really recognize we do have a watch? And act from the watch’s perspective, rather than that of the bracelet?
Few suggestions:

1. Hear the truth over and over

The more we hear from people we trust the truth of the connection between our mind’s true nature and the role of its servant the active, thinking, emotive mind; and the more we hear that our own fundamental nature has these pure qualities of awareness, love and wisdom, the more we will start to believe it, and recognise it in ourselves.

2. Contemplate this

The way we take things in is to progress on from simply hearing, to thinking deeply about it; to contemplate what we heard.

3. Draw on models

People like Mingyur Rinpoche model this. 

Less than 10% of new information we take in depends upon the words people say to us. 

It is their lived experience that is so important in this domain.

So, hanging out with people who have their own direct experience of what we are discussing here gives us “a feel” for it. 

Happily, you do not need to be a Buddhist to go to a talk with someone like Mingyur Rinpoche, and there are many people from other traditions, and some of no tradition that carry these qualities; so seek them out, and hangout…

4. Meditate

Meditation is the reliable path to sorting out the bracelets from the watches. This was always meditation’s primary function; to help us to get to know and become familiar with who we really are, and to be confident, to be sure: our mind is like a watch, not a bracelet. It can make quite a nice bracelet, but fundamentally, it is a watch…

Happy meditating...

 

To have and to hold; or maybe not???

See it, want it. How often do you have the experience of seeing something and feeling you just have to have it? That feeling is what we call desire, and Ruth and I are having a big encounter with its consequences right now as we sell our farm and downsize considerably. 

So this week we delve into desire; its nature, its consequences and what to do when it needs an antidote, but first

   Thought for the day

If you ask me what sort of self-control you need 

To do the work of contemplation, 

My answer is, ‘None at all!’ 

In everything else you do, you should practise moderation. 

Avoid extremes when eating, drinking or sleeping. 

Also, protect your body from severe cold or heat, 

Do not pray or read too long 

And do not spend too much time conversing with your friends. 

In all of these things, it is important 

That you do neither too much nor too little. 

But in contemplation, you may throw caution to the wind. 

Indulge. 

I hope you will never stop doing this loving work as long as you live.

              The Cloud of Unknowing

We humans are primarily motivated by desire. We want things. We wish for things. So much of our energy and thinking is dedicated to how we can acquire stuff, and then both hold onto it and protect it. Ask the Buddhists, and they characterise human life as being in the “desire realm”.

So just because we like something does that mean we have to have it? 

To obtain it? 

To work for it? 

To purchase it? 

To steal it or gain it by deception?

Ruth and I are in the final stages of selling our delightful farm where we have lived these past 23 years. We are downsizing dramatically; moving into our small flat in the city where we will enjoy a simpler life for a while and await what beckons us into the future. We are bound to move again soon…

So in this process of transition, lots of “stuff” to deal with. The fascinating process of going through all our possessions, every one of them, evaluating them on need and desire, and deciding what to keep, what to give away, what to put in the bin, and what to attempt to sell.

As an aside, have learnt something interesting: 

When you go to sell something, it is always worth less than you thought. 

When you go to buy something, it is always worth more than you thought.

Funny that…

Anyway, back to the “stuff”, and desire. That urge to own things – and experiences – is such a strong one, and it comes with so many challenging attachments. You could say “attachment” is the issue. 

I notice it most strongly having lived on a farm for a good part of my life. 

People say “we own this piece of land”. 

We “own”? 

What does that mean? 

At the least we are short term guests, maybe at best we are caring custodians. 

The land was here long before we arrived; it will be here long after we leave. 

“Own”?

So maybe with land we can get this principle of non-ownership more easily if we live in a peaceful part of the world. Where buying and selling is a civilised process. But it is easy to notice how complicated the notion of ownership becomes in contested areas. “This land is mine. It was my parents, my ancestors, my nation’s land”. When two or more families, tribes, nations hold a similar view, then it is easy to understand how conflict ensues.

And we do not need to reflect for more than a moment or two to appreciate how complex and challenging it can be to resolve such issues. 

Most of us will have been deeply affected by recent conflicts – most notably in the Ukraine and Gaza. 

Many may identify with one side or the other, and feel strong emotions.

So this is the point. 

Here we are not going into any sense of who is right and who is wrong, or indeed if anyone is right or wrong; what we are reflecting on here is the root issue – desire and the feeling of ownership – my land, my car, my job, my wife, my computer that I read this on. 

How do we balance the recognition that we do need to “own” things, to have the right to maintain our ownership, to not be robbed or tricked out of them, but at the same time avoid becoming overly greedy, or overly possessive, right up to the point of going to war over ownership?

I am just going to leave this one here for now… with an invitation to reflect on these deeply personal matters… 

How we manage our desires, and the consequences of those desires, defines how we are as human beings. 

How do we manage acquiring enough stuff to meet our needs and to keep ourselves comfortable in an equitable and fair way? 

How do we balance our desires with the desires of others? 

Maybe even more, how do we become less driven by desire itself???

And remember, the quieter you become, the more you can hear…

Meditation Special – Finding Peace in Troubling Times

So what is it that is troubling you? 

The war in Ukraine? In Gaza? 

Environmental Armageddon? 

Cost of living pressures? Financial uncertainty? 

Insecurity? Health matters? 

Family pressures? Relationship issues? 

Study demands? Work pressures? 

Multiple choice… 

Some of the above? 

All of the above? Got your own list? 

For me the latest challenge is moving house – from a farm into a small flat; downsizing and then working out were to from there. Most of us will have plenty going on…

Now, some say it is the good things that tend to distract us most easily from regular meditation practice. However, currently I am hearing from many who feel overwhelmed by all the difficult news, all the troubling people and events that disturb their equilibrium and make sitting to meditation quite difficult. It is as if their minds are so full of "noise", settling into meditation has become nigh on impossible.

Sad really, as either way - with positive distractions or amidst troubling times, meditation has the potential firstly to provide some time out, a moment’s peace, and then lead on to a new way of being that makes life easier all around. But if the “noise” is too strong and is making meditation impossible, what to do?

So this week, how to use meditation when the brain is in overdrive, worrying and anxious; how to find peace in troubling times, but first

 

         Thought for the day

     The body benefits from movement

       And the mind benefits from stillness

                    Sakyong Mipham

When the mind is racing and you are seeking peace, it is no time to be casual.

Sure, if you are well enough practiced and you can simply observe your mind, that is sufficient. If it is possible for you to be like an impartial observer, to sit back a little as it were, and to simply be aware of all those racing thoughts and their attendant emotions; to do all that and remain both undistracted and non-judgemental, well then yes, you are a solid practitioner and more power to you. No more needed…

But here we are talking of when the mind is overwhelming. When the thoughts race so hard, when the stress is so strong, when the anxiety is building and there is just no separating observer, awareness and all that activity of the mind. 

In this state, it is like the mind is so caught up in thinking and emotion, so engaged with it, something quite strong is needed to bring about a transformation.

This is where meditation technique is paramount. This is exactly the type of situation for which meditation techniques have been developed over the centuries.

And there is one, simply and reliable principle of meditation that works every time, in every troublesome situation.

When we are distracted and find our thoughts to be running riot, we need a single object upon which we can focus. By using the principle of concentration, we cut through all the “noise”. We focus. We concentrate. We narrow our thinking down onto one single thing so there is no room for the “noise”. 

Simple principle. 

Rather than have the mind ranging everywhere, give it just one thing to focus upon, and thereby bring it to a point of stillness. 

Like a sense can focus light down to a single point, so too can the mind focus our thoughts.

This is the key. 

When we concentrate on just one thing; when we focus and concentrate fully, there is no room for other thoughts or emotions. Our mind finds its own natural peace.

So how to do this? The principle is simple – concentration. What to concentrate upon is up to you. You could literally use anything as the focus of your concentration. However, here are a few techniques that have stood the test of time. With some you already may have a familiarity – and maybe the reminder is useful; maybe some new ideas with which to experiment.

1. The Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Over the decades, this is the technique we have found most reliable for inducing deep relaxation of body and mind in a wide range of adverse and troubling situations. 

Concentrate particularly on the feeling in the body as you contract and relax the muscle groups from the feet to the head. 

Check it out, listen to it again on the Allevi8 App under the heading of Deep Relaxation in the Managing Stress and the Being Well sections.

2. Guided Imagery

Again, a very reliable technique. This one is particularly good for beginners and children. 

This type of exercise gives the mind something to focus upon, and when the images suggested have deeper sub-conscious metaphorical meaning, the exercise can be both calming and transformative.

On the Allevi8 App, we use 2 well proven Guided Imagery techniques: the Healing Light exercise (sometimes know more simply as the white light exercise) that is found in the Healing Support section, and the Healing Journey in the Managing Stress section.

So the crucial thing is not to be put off by what may seem to be a simple solution to a complex problem. 

Trouble comes in many guises. 

They all affect our mind, and we can learn to take charge of our mind, use suitable techniques, concentrate, find a moment’s peace, practice regularly and work towards a more stable, long-lasting unshakeable peace.

May you find true and sustaining inner peace…