Buddha relics and Kalu Rinpoche; why and how to approach journeying towards the sacred

Ruth and I recently experienced a mini-miracle. Relics of the Buddha were recently brought to Melbourne by the renowned Tibetan teacher, Kalu Rinpoche as part of an Australian tour.

These relics include fragments of bone and crystallized remains (ringsels), found and carefully preserved after the Buddha was cremated over 2,500 years ago. Their history, our experience with them, an explanation of why and how one would bother to connect with holy relics or beings follows, and details of our coming meditation retreats and Meditation Teacher Trainings, but first

   Thought for the day

     Mind is eclipsed by many different obscurations; 

     If they are removed, mind’s fundamental nature, 

     Like the sun shining brightly in a clear, open sky, 

     Can manifest all the qualities 

     Of wisdom, compassion, and a Buddha’s abilities.

         The First Kalu Rinpoche, Luminous Mind

There is a particular atmosphere when one enters a sacred space - a temple - where genuine people gather for genuine teachings and practices. You feel it. It is physically tangible, yet not able to be scooped up or placed in a bottle. There is respect in the air; a reverence and devotion. A palpable feeling of calm, and a gentle joyfulness. 

Ruth and I visited the Buddha relics at the wonderful Vietnamese Quang Minh temple at Braybrook. 

We felt this atmosphere.

Visually, it was also stunning... 

Mostly Asians, we were two of very few white Australians. No idea why so few??? 

Anyway, many people in traditional costume – the Vietnamese, Tibetans, many Bhutanese; just a wonderful scene. And so welcoming.

Presumably due to my disability, we were ushered past the long queue; a real blessing as many waited in hot sun for 2-3 hours plus. 

Once in the main temple, we did join the queue that slowly wound its way past the relics. They were contained in an elaborate yet smallish relique, some distance from us, so a great experience yet not so much to see. 

Having passed by the relics, an usher requested us to wait. 

Suddenly, Kalu Rinpoche himself appeared from not sure where, went over, gathered the relics, came back to us and blessed us on the head with them. 

Remarkable.

We then went and sat on the floor in front of the relics just to be with them for a while longer and soak it all in. 

Almost immediately several hundred Vietnamese nuns lined up just behind us and spend the best part of the next hour chanting and doing prostrations. 

The atmosphere... 

Amazing.

So what to make of all this? 

To be clear, for us it was a real treat. A spiritual highlight. 

However, others might be sceptical. Are they really the Buddha’s relics? Even if they are, what value is there in being close to them? Why bother??? And if one does, what protocols need to be followed?

Having recounted our own experience, for this blog – a history of these relics, some details of Kalu Rinpoche. Then in the next post – the why and the how... 

Historical Origins of these Buddha Relics

• Discovery (1898): The relics are believed to be part of the sacred findings from Piprahwa, Uttar Pradesh, India, unearthed by British engineer William Claxton Peppé in 1898. These were identified as part of the original ashes of the Buddha, divided among eight kingdoms after his cremation.

• Gift to Thailand (1898): A portion of these relics was gifted by British authorities in India to King Chulalongkorn (Rama V) of Siam (now Thailand).

• Transfer to France (2009): The relics were entrusted to the Union Buddhist of France (UBF) in 2009.

• Connection to Kalu Rinpoche: His Eminence Kalu Rinpoche, the lineage holder of the Shangpa Kagyu tradition, has been closely involved with the stewardship and promotion of these relics for public veneration, connecting the ancient lineage with modern Buddhist practice. 

• Australia Tour (2026): At the initiative of Kalu Rinpoche, the sacred relics were brought from France to Australia for a tour in January 2026, visiting cities including Perth, Sydney, Canberra, Brisbane, and Melbourne.

·       Significance: These relics are considered to hold immense spiritual energy, providing blessings of wisdom, compassion, and liberation to followers. 

Kalu Rinpoche – the First

The current Kalu Rinpoche’s predecessor, sometimes now referred to as the first Kalu Rinpoche, (1905-1989) was a prominent Tibetan teacher who taught extensively around the world. 

He was one of the first senior Tibetans to teach in the West, and he established many Dharma centres in Europe and North America. 

Kalu Rinpoche was the uncle of my own main teacher Sogyal Rinpoche who held him in very high regard and quoted him often.

Kalu Rinpoche commenced his first 3 year retreat at the age of 13. 

At 25, he began practising for twelve years in solitary retreat in the mountains of Eastern Tibet, wandering about without possessions, until he was requested to return and teach.

Having left Tibet in the late 1950s, Kalu Rinpoche first went to Bhutan, where he established two retreat centres and ordained 300 monks. 

In 1965 he established his own monastery in Darjeeling. He passed away on 10th May 1989 at another of his monasteries; this one in Sonada, India.

Kalu Rinpoche – the second  

The current Kalu Rinpoche, was born in 1990 and recognized by HH the Dalai Lama. 

A prominent Tibetan Buddhist master, Rinpoche is recognized as the reincarnation of the renowned 1st Kalu Rinpoche. 

As the holder of the Shangpa Kagyu lineage, he was traditionally trained from a young age and completed a three-year retreat in 2008. 

He now travels extensively and leads his predecessor’s meditation centers worldwide. 

Rinpoche emphasizes accessible teachings with a focus on adapting the Dharma for a modern, digital world; along with traditional Vajrayana practices. 

He advocates for self-reliance in practice rather than blind faith, aiming to make deep teachings accessible without requiring exclusive authority. 

COMING EVENTS

Meditation in the Forest – The Heart of Meditation; its wisdom and its experience

Sunday 7th to Saturday 13th June

Ruth and I have been presenting the annual 7 day meditation retreat Meditation in the Forest at the Yarra Valley Living Centre for many years. 

This year, the retreat focus will be the heart of meditation – the experience and the wisdom of Stillness. 

Highly experiential, we will delve into the theoretical structure that provides the knowledge and the wisdom that helps us to approach this profound inner experience.

Then together, we will practice the techniques that progressively lead us into the direct experience of our own stillness – our own inner essence. Joyful...

There will also be optional yoga sessions with the incomparable Melissa Borich, plus all the delights of the Upper Yarra environment along with the care and food provided by the Yarra Valley Living Centre.

Many do come regularly to this annual retreat, but we always welcome newcomers. Due to its fundamental simplicity, the retreat is accessible to those newer to meditation, as well as those more experienced.

To enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au. Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

Meditation Teacher Trainings 

May and November 2026 

And now for something new... with also a certain sense of familiarity...

Actually, not so very new. 

In fact, I have presented Meditation Teacher Trainings since 1988, but these new trainings – to be frank – are much better developed than those earlier versions! 

We have developed 3 training modules: Meditation, Contemplation and Imagery. 

The Meditation module goes into how to present the 8 week Mindfulness-Based Stillness program that is elaborated in my most recent meditation book – Blue Sky Mind. 

The other 2 modules, cover the very basics of meditation, but give most attention to these very important, but rarely taught aspects of meditation – Contemplation and Imagery.

We now have individual manuals for each training that are at least 180 pages each. 

The trainings are solid in theory, yet highly experiential. You will get to practice leading meditations and groups, while receiving measured feedback from the staff and peers. 

Many who have completed these trainings have now qualified for full membership of Meditation Australia, and have the knowledge and confidence to teach in their own right. 

As part of our commitment to provide ongoing support as you develop your skills and experience, we have established an online Meditation Teacher’s Community that does just that. There is peer support, ongoing professional development, a mass of resources, and opportunities to practice and develop your teaching skills with the audience of the closely allied Meditation Community.

Currently, I have a strong commitment to training and supporting the development of new meditation teachers, so if you are considering this as a possibility, and do meet the criteria, please do join us.

Each year we provide the basic Meditation Teacher Training, this year: 11 - 15 May 2026

Also, this year we will once more present the wonderful Contemplation Training: 31 October – 4 November 2026.

Next year, 2027, we are likely to present the Imagery Training once again; along with the basic Meditation module. 

Attending 2 of these trainings meets MA’s criteria for membership. While you can attend the 3 modules in whatever order that suits, and each module does stand in its own right, we do encourage everyone interested in our approach to complete the Meditation module at least.

You will be welcome; and be joining a group of amazing, like-minded peers.

As with the retreat, to enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au  Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

 

 

Meditation for Healing – The Healing Circles are back – an invitation to give and receive healing energy...

Meditation, and more specifically, imagery, opens the possibility of converting a wish for healing into reality. We all have times when we need healing. We all have times when we wish healing would come for someone we care for and love.

Is this just a pipe-dream, or can we actually do something meaningful? The simple and clear answer is – yes we can. Subtle energy is a real thing. 

We all know the comfort of someone with a “healing touch”. I remember the local GP when I was small. He would gently place his hand on my shoulder or arm, and whatever was the issue, things immediately felt much better. There was reassurance, comfort and an energy transfer that reeked of healing. Soft and gentle, yet powerful. A real thing.

There is much more, but first

           Thought for the day

   The mind has no form, colour, or substance.


   It does not exist outside or inside the body, nor in between.


   Even if you search for it in every direction, it is unreal.


   It has no origin, location, or destination.


   It is not nothing; your mind is vividly lucid.


   It is not single, for it arises diversely as anything.


   It is not multiple, for everything has one essence.

                   Karma Chakme Rinpoche 17th C 

I have a long history of meeting with and learning from powerful healers who practiced what they call “distance healing”. The mind is not limited by time and space. We can imagine the past and future. We can imagine being with someone who is on the other side of the planet. Using focused imagery practices, we can imagine another person and direct healing energy towards them. 

There are many accounts of this type of distant healing “coinciding” with unexpected major healing. Maybe you have felt this yourself – either as a giver or a receiver? Some people call it prayer. A real thing...

So in the days of the Allevi8 app, a very popular feature was the monthly Healing Circles. 

Now with the advent of the Meditation Community and its steady development, it is timely to reinstate these. 

Starting in February, we will hold a Healing Circle on the first Monday of the month at 8pm AET. 

These Healing Circles will be led by myself and Melissa Borich whom many will know for her work in this area; plus helping directly to co-facilitate meditation retreats and meditation teacher trainings with Ruth and myself.

So we all calling for those altruists amongst you who would like to offer healing to those in need to gather and provide your support. And there is the invitation to join us if you are in need of healing. 

You do need to be a member of the Meditation Community to join in, but that means you have access to all the Community’s other benefits. We are starting live morning meditation practice sessions in February. These will add to the regular live Teaching Circles and Discussion Circles. Plus there are recordings of a wide range of things meditation, the recorded practices you can use like a meditation App to support and guide your practice; and of course the interaction with other like-minded meditators and teachers via the chatroom.

During the Healing Circles, if you do join those giving healing, you will be guided how to do this; so you will learn a new skill you can use for other loved-ones as the need arises. 

For those in need of healing, we can say those who attended the Allevi8 Healing Circles found them very helpful. 

We look forward to the first of these new Healing Circles on the Meditation Community 

and invite you to join us...

What? Monthly Healing Circles on the Meditation Community

When? First Monday of every month at 8pm AET, starting Monday February 2nd, 8pm AEDT

Who with? Ian Gawler and Melissa Borich

How? Open to all members of the Meditation Community – if not a member already, you can join here: 

 

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Meditation in the Forest – The Heart of Meditation; its wisdom and its experience

Sunday 7th to Saturday 13th June

Ruth and I have been presenting the annual 7 day meditation retreat Meditation in the Forest at the Yarra Valley Living Centre for many years. 

This year, the retreat focus will be the heart of meditation – the experience and the wisdom of Stillness. 

Highly experiential, we will delve into the theoretical structure that provides the knowledge and the wisdom that helps us to approach this profound inner experience.

Then together, we will practice the techniques that progressively lead us into the direct experience of our own stillness – our own inner essence. Joyful...

There will also be optional yoga sessions with the incomparable Melissa Borich, plus all the delights of the Upper Yarra environment along with the care and food provided by the Yarra Valley Living Centre.

Many do come regularly to this annual retreat, but we always welcome newcomers. Due to its fundamental simplicity, the retreat is accessible to those newer to meditation, as well as those more experienced.

To enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au. Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

Meditation Teacher Trainings 

May and November 2026 

And now for something new... with also a certain sense of familiarity...

Actually, not so very new. 

In fact, I have presented Meditation Teacher Trainings since 1988, but these new trainings – to be frank – are much better developed than those earlier versions! 

We have developed 3 training modules: Meditation, Contemplation and Imagery. 

The Meditation module goes into how to present the 8 week Mindfulness-Based Stillness program that is elaborated in my most recent meditation book – Blue Sky Mind. 

The other 2 modules, cover the very basics of meditation, but give most attention to these very important, but rarely taught aspects of meditation – Contemplation and Imagery.

We now have individual manuals for each training that are at least 180 pages each. 

The trainings are solid in theory, yet highly experiential. You will get to practice leading meditations and groups, while receiving measured feedback from the staff and peers. 

Many who have completed these trainings have now qualified for full membership of Meditation Australia, and have the knowledge and confidence to teach in their own right. 

As part of our commitment to provide ongoing support as you develop your skills and experience, we have established an online Meditation Teacher’s Community that does just that. There is peer support, ongoing professional development, a mass of resources, and opportunities to practice and develop your teaching skills with the audience of the closely allied Meditation Community.

Currently, I have a strong commitment to training and supporting the development of new meditation teachers, so if you are considering this as a possibility, and do meet the criteria, please do join us.

Each year we provide the basic Meditation Teacher Training, this year: 11 - 15 May 2026

Also, this year we will once more present the wonderful Contemplation Training: 31 October – 4 November 2026.

Next year, 2027, we are likely to present the Imagery Training once again; along with the basic Meditation module. 

Attending 2 of these trainings meets MA’s criteria for membership. While you can attend the 3 modules in whatever order that suits, and each module does stand in its own right, we do encourage everyone interested in our approach to complete the Meditation module at least.

You will be welcome; and be joining a group of amazing, like-minded peers.

As with the retreat, to enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au  Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

 

The Comfort of Familiarity – a tribute to Pellegrini’s - and how amidst impermanence, some things appear the same...

Sixty years of eating in the same establishment. The comfort of familiarity...

As a teenager, happening upon Pellegrini’s café at 66 Bourke St in Melbourne, was evocative of walking into one of the Hemingway novels I was reading at the time, A Farewell to Arms. Melbourne in the ’60s was very parochial. Pellegrini’s was very different. European. Very Italian. An eye opener to not just a new cuisine - as opposed to the meat and 3 veg of the day – but a new style, a new culture. A precursor of what was about to unfold as Melbourne transitioned from a white bastion into a genuine multi-cultural society, but first

Thought for the day

     Sogyal Rinpoche while sitting quietly 

     In the front seat of a car, 

     Silently chanting mantras: 

     "You know people think it is about the beads, 

     But it is actually about the string!"

Best of all, Pellegrini’s had a bar where one could sit down on one’s own to a decent meal; and avoid feeling awkward. So it became a regular haunt. Whether as a student at university, a veterinarian in an incredible hurry, a father bringing children to the city, or while working and looking for a heart-warming meal, Pellegrini’s was the place of comfort and ease.

The years have passed by, so much has changed, and yet Pellegrini’s remains. And so now, an incredible 60 years later, the comfort of familiarity. 

We all know everything changes. Everything. Even Pellegrini’s. 

Staff have come and gone. 

The original owners, brothers Leo and Vildo Pellegrini, opened their restaurant in 1954. 

I have only vague memories of these two, but many more of the wonderful duo they sold to in 1974, fellow Italian migrants Nino Pangrazio and Sisto Malaspina.

In a stark reminder of how precious human life is, and how fragile it is, Melbourne was rocked when Sisto, attempting to help a man in life-threatening danger, was stabbed to death in a terrorist attack in the city in 2018. 

So sad...

Impermanence is tough in some ways. 

Yet without change, we would be continually stuck in the same old... Life would not be possible without change. Life is only possible with change. Yet this wonderful comfort with familiarity.

When I return to Pellegrini’s now, as I do regularly; to my eyes and heart, it feels just like it did all those 60 years ago. The menu, strips of writing draped across a plank of wood hanging from the ceiling has not changed in my memory. Just become more obscured by the accumulation of time. The regulars never even look at it. They know what they will order. 

I rarely eat anything other than the fabulous minestrone, or the spaghetti Napoli. 

To my memory, these dishes; their look and their flavours, have not changed in 60 years. 

Genuine, deeply felt comfort food. 

Is that not wonderful? 

Management having the confidence to continue with something that is working. Not attempting to chase the latest fad; being content to continue with what is loved and welcomed year after year... The comfort of familiarity.

Of course, things do change. 

Back in the 60s the granita was lemon. Loved that. 

For decades now it has been watermelon. I do not drink that. 

Since moving to the city a couple of years ago, the lure of coffee sometimes gets to me. And the coffee at Pellegrini’s is Italian – strong. 

When they opened, they had one of Melbourne’s first Italian expresso machines, and while successive machines have done their service, worn out, and been replaced, the lineage is strong and continuous.

Last week, Ruth and I went to the movies and watched the new documentary film on Pellegrini’s. Imagine that. A documentary of a small café featuring in mainstream theatres. It is a wonderful, nostalgic meander down memory lane. Highly recommended not only to Melbournians, but to anyone whose heart is warmed by, and open to - the comfort of familiarity...

Curious to hear about whatever it is that offers this comfort of familiarity to you...

And speaking of familiarity...

Meditation in the Forest – The Heart of Meditation; its wisdom and its experience

Sunday 7th to Saturday 13th June

Ruth and I have been presenting the annual 7 day meditation retreat Meditation in the Forest at the Yarra Valley Living Centre for many years. 

This year, the retreat focus will be the heart of meditation – the experience and the wisdom of Stillness. 

Highly experiential, we will delve into the theoretical structure that provides the knowledge and the wisdom that helps us to approach this profound inner experience.

Then together, we will practice the techniques that progressively lead us into the direct experience of our own stillness – our own inner essence. Joyful...

There will also be optional yoga sessions with the incomparable Melissa Borich, plus all the delights of the Upper Yarra environment along with the care and food provided by the Yarra Valley Living Centre.

Many do come regularly to this annual retreat, but we always welcome newcomers. Due to its fundamental simplicity, the retreat is accessible to those newer to meditation, as well as those more experienced.

To enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au. Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

Meditation Teacher Trainings 

May and November 2026 

And now for something new... with also a certain sense of familiarity...

Actually, not so very new. 

In fact, I have presented Meditation Teacher Trainings since 1988, but these new trainings – to be frank – are much better developed than those earlier versions! 

We have developed 3 training modules: Meditation, Contemplation and Imagery. 

The Meditation module goes into how to present the 8 week Mindfulness-Based Stillness program that is elaborated in my most recent meditation book – Blue Sky Mind. 

The other 2 modules, cover the very basics of meditation, but give most attention to these very important, but rarely taught aspects of meditation – Contemplation and Imagery.

We now have individual manuals for each training that are at least 180 pages each. 

The trainings are solid in theory, yet highly experiential. You will get to practice leading meditations and groups, while receiving measured feedback from the staff and peers. 

Many who have completed these trainings have now qualified for full membership of Meditation Australia, and have the knowledge and confidence to teach in their own right. 

As part of our commitment to provide ongoing support as you develop your skills and experience, we have established an online Meditation Teacher’s Community that does just that. There is peer support, ongoing professional development, a mass of resources, and opportunities to practice and develop your teaching skills with the audience of the closely allied Meditation Community.

Currently, I have a strong commitment to training and supporting the development of new meditation teachers, so if you are considering this as a possibility, and do meet the criteria, please do join us.

Each year we provide the basic Meditation Teacher Training, this year: 11 - 15 May 2026

Also, this year we will once more present the wonderful Contemplation Training: 31 October – 4 November 2026.

Next year, 2027, we are likely to present the Imagery Training once again; along with the basic Meditation module. 

Attending 2 of these trainings meets MA’s criteria for membership. While you can attend the 3 modules in whatever order that suits, and each module does stand in its own right, we do encourage everyone interested in our approach to complete the Meditation module at least.

You will be welcome; and be joining a group of amazing, like-minded peers.

As with the retreat, to enquire re bookings, view our website, or contact our retreat manager Mel Crow on mel@insighthealth.com.au  Mel will be happy to talk with you if you do need more details.

 

Finding peace in a troubled world

The answer is simple. We cannot impose peace upon a troubled world. The only way we will have peace worldwide is when we have a world made up of people with peace in their hearts. As individuals who are interdependently linked with all of humanity, what we can do is to start with us. The more peace we develop in our own heart, the more we contribute to world peace. 

So how to do this amidst all the provocation to be fearful, hateful, vengeful, aggressive, defensive, apathetic and so on? But first

             Thought for the day

       When your fear touches someone’s pain 

       It becomes pity; 

       When your love touches someone’s pain, 

       It becomes compassion.

                   Stephen Levine

Christmas is a wonderful time of year. 

It celebrates the birth of a child who came to embody unconditional love. 

Also, one of Christ’s major messages was forgiveness.

So in these hugely troubled times, how do we embody unconditional love and find forgiveness when there is so much going on that seems on first examination to be unforgivable. 

First, it serves us well to be clear none of this is easy. For many, it comes way more easily to dive into destructive emotions; to be fearful, hateful, vengeful, aggressive, defensive, apathetic. If we are to counter this within ourselves, we will need a good deal of resolve. 

We need to start with a strong intention. A powerful recognition that hate never cured hate. That love is the only thing that will cure hate. A strong intention to be more loving...

So we need to consider... how can I do this? How can I be more loving? 

Good question... Probably the basis for a book or two... and definitely the very essence of what all the great spiritual traditions do aspire to – to help us become more loving.

So if we are not involved in a spiritual tradition already, maybe now is a good time to consider taking this up – following the spiritual path more formally. I have always been of the view, that if we did grow up in a particular tradition, lapsed for whatever reason and then felt to return to the spiritual path; it makes sense to go back to what we first knew. 

Even for those who left say in response to all the sexual abuse that has plagued most traditions, having grown up in a particular tradition means you are familiar with its principles and values. 

With its iconography and liturgy. 

By going back to that, maybe these days you have a different perspective, can hear it all in a different, more meaningful way, that proves to be satisfying. 

If not, you will know clearly - that particular path is not for you, and then you can look elsewhere.

But a caution. Changing traditions is not easy and few recommend it unless you have a very strong motivation and connection with the new path.

For those more secular. Starting with your self means developing a regular meditation practice. Meditation is the key to inner peace. However, the path of meditation towards peace is not easy either. Once we do begin to look inwardly more closely, we will need to confront our own states of mind – with all their diversity - good thoughts, destructive thoughts, loving kindness, desire, hatred and aversion; the full catastrophe. That is why we need a strong resolve. We need enough energy to stay with all this; enough energy to work out how to be with our own inner demons - and gods.

And how can we be present to someone else's trauma and destructive thoughts and emotions, if we cannot be present to our own? The need is to learn how to be with the difficult stuff; and what we do with it... 

So we need to be gentle with ourselves. The old adage “Love they neighbour as thy self”, emphasises the need – “as thy self”. Love thy self. Be kind to self. Be gentle with self. Be forgiving of self.

Forgiveness is a key. Forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others. This too can be very difficult. But it is always possible. And it frees us from the self-destructive emotion of hate. There is a good piece on forgiveness in a post on Thich Nhat Hahn. 

If considering developing or returning to a regular meditation practice, do consider joining our Meditation Community. 

Most of us find it hard to maintain regular meditation long-term. 

Having the company and support of good teachers and like minded meditators really makes a difference, and this is what the online Meditation Community offers. 

Regular live teachings and practices spread throughout the week, access to guided practices you can listen to like you would on an App, videos to watch, a secure online chat forum, and more... 

A wonderful environment designed to support your good intentions: The Meditation Community...

Then too, consider attending a meditation retreat. In current times, I suggest attending at least one retreat each year. There are many good options available. Ruth and I will present our annual 7 day meditation retreat again in 2026 – from 7 -13th June in the highly conducive environment of the Yarra Valley Living Centre. Details are on the website iangawler.com; you can register your interest and bookings will open soon. The focus for the 2026 retreat will be the Stillness of Meditation – the heart of meditation where unconditional love is to be experienced. 

This has been a really tough year for many of us. Speaking personally, so many good things have happened, including great retreats and meditation teacher trainings presented, but the whole year has been turbulent. Included amongst all this, Ruth has been seriously unwell (but happily, is much better now) and we have friends who knew 4 of the people so tragically murdered in the Bondi massacre. Our hearts really do go out to all our Jewish friends, their families and the wider community. May something meaningful come from all this trauma, like it did following the Pt Arthur massacre.

But for now, with the year coming to an end, it is a great time to enter into the heart of Christmas, the real message of Christmas – the birth of unconditional love. It may surprise some, but unconditional love is actually our default. It may seem strange, but unconditional love is actually the natural state. Our job is to reconnect with it. To do what we can firstly to be less destructive and more loving; then move on towards becoming unconditionally loving.

May that true spirit of Christmas touch you and the hearts of all you love and value. 

And everyone else as well...

 

 

On being overloaded – and some options. A personal account

Remember this feeling??? As a teenager, I often went on long hikes through the wilderness areas of Gippsland. Spectacular country... rugged, steep and incredibly beautiful. We often went out for a week and carried all our food; sometimes even our water, so our packs could be really heavy. At the end of the day, we would select a campsite - and then the feeling. The feeling of lightness as the pack came of the back. A mixture of relief, satisfaction, tiredness and joy. Remember that feeling? The lightness of the load lifting...

Sometimes in life it can seem as if the load we are carrying is really heavy. Sometimes too heavy. Having been through a period of life like this recently myself, and now having the feeling of lightness arrive and bring relief, maybe it is useful to discuss what we can do when our load is too heavy and the potential to become stressed out is very real, but first

Thought for the day

   Alexander the Great's famous last words 
- three wishes he made on his deathbed: 

 

    Let my physicians carry my coffin

       Scatter my treasures along the path to my grave

       Let my hands hang out of the coffin

   To demonstrate 

       Doctors cannot stop death

       Wealth cannot be taken with you

       Everyone leaves this world empty-handed.

Maybe this can come as a salutary reminder. 

We hear a great deal about managing stress from the inside. About how we can learn to maintain our balance and equanimity independently of our external circumstances. That is true. We can. However, it is also true stress can come from being overwhelmed by external events. There is a limit to what we can take on, and yet sometimes, the demands to do more can seem unavoidable.

This was my experience recently. Many will know just how unwell my beloved Ruth has been for nearly 9 months. And this on top of my own major bout of life-threatening ill-health around 18 months ago, which was preceded by Ruth being unwell the previous couple of years. We have had a lot to deal with.

Now normally, this would be manageable. 

However, I had a major commitment to lead a Meditation Teacher Training in November, and to follow this with a meditation mini-retreat. 

That too would have been manageable, however, for the training, there was the need to prepare a new manual – all 200 pages of it. 

Having deliberately left the 3 months prior to the training free so I could concentrate on writing what was effectively like a new book, Ruth then became critically ill and was hospitalised right through until the training commenced. I spent much of that time with her in the hospital. 

So first, the obvious decision. Go ahead or cancel? Being mindful of people putting 5 days aside, and many making travel and other arrangements to attend, we decided to go ahead. 

So the manual had to be completed – and printed on time. Basic 3 principles of positive thinking:


1. Make a clear choice

2. Do whatever it takes

3. Chose to enjoy doing it.

So during the months of being in Ruth’s hospital room, amidst visits from doctors and nurses, amidst drips alarms sounding regularly, amidst communicating with family and friends, amidst dealing with the day-to-day stuff, and the general overwhelm of the difficult times we live in; amidst all manner of interruptions, a remarkable opportunity to practice being non-distracted, of remaining focused and committed – and getting the job done. But high pressure. And the feeling of a very heavy backpack.

So how to maintain some balance? 

How to manage an extreme load? 

Some options to consider

1.     Make time to meditate

It is not easy making time for this. 

Fortunately, I am in the habit, but I ramped it up. Knowing the pressure was on, I made the effort to increase my practice

2.     Make time to exercise

It is not easy making time for this. 

This was harder for me and I was not so consistent as with the meditation, but it is easy to feel the benefit; and we know the science is all for this; as with the meditation.

3.     Take time out – and let go of the guilt

To be clear, I did feel on the edge more than once. And it seemed obvious, if I became overwhelmed or sick myself, we were in really deep trouble. 

So time out is a necessity. In what form? I visited the hospital café regularly, as much for the break as for anything it had to offer to eat or drink. Then there was at least one lunch with a friend each week. Many phone calls with family and friends. And a massage. And just having the occasional slow morning or longer break in the afternoon. 

4.     Do ask for help

Taking time out, spreading the load, was made possible by family and friends coming in and being with Ruth when I was not. While the Epworth Richmond was wonderful in many ways, my strong sense is for anyone in hospital, particularly if critically ill, there is a need for a minder. We set up a roster and it was a delight to have this very tangible support. Such gratitude...

5.     Request prayers

We had a huge number of people – and groups – praying for Ruth. 

It may be subtle, yet it is tangible; this undercurrent of positive, healing energy that prayer and well-wishes provides. 

It does feel like a current that is heading in the right direction, and provides a counter for what can seem like a fairly bleak reality at times.

6.     Practice gratitude

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the difficulties and go into grumpy mode. To become despondent and angry. So I am told... Fortunately, I have a long-term habit of practicing gratitude: thank everyone – some vocally, some quietly. Thank the people who support the hospital with philanthropy, thank the staff, thank those who grew the food that turns up, thank whoever developed all the machines Ruth is relying upon. Gratitude is so easy. There is so much to be grateful for. And it transforms grumpy into grateful. Feels better and makes others feel better as well.

7.     Do persevere

I have been very fortunate. 

The manual was printed 2 days before the training began. 

We had a lovely group attend. Melissa Borich co-facilitated and was magnificent to work with – as usual. 

And at the end, it felt like taking a huge pack off after a very long walk. 

But sometimes we simply need to endure. To push on. 

Find the extra energy. Draw upon reserves. 

And balance and sustain that willpower with the other things we are discussing.

8.     When all else fails, procrastinate!

Procrastination does get a lot of bad press. In many situations, this is justified. But when the load is extreme, that old Irish saying may be the answer: 

If you put something off long enough

It will take care of itself

But then, I was fortunate. This period of overload was finite. While Ruth remains in hospital, she is improving steadily now and appears likely to be home again soon. Life is getting easier once more. The load lighter.

So for most of us, life will bring these periods of overload. Having the sense they will pass makes persevering easier. But then, if the load is likely to remain longer-term, the need to plan for how to manage it becomes even more important. No doubt there is great merit in learning to cope – and ideally thrive – from the inside; but perhaps this post offers some ideas around how to manage on the outside.