The 2 most important things I have learnt

Tomorrow, the 9th of January, is a major anniversary. It will be 40 years since my leg was amputated.

Bittersweet.

So much has changed for the better over the last 40 years and speaking personally, my whole perception of life, my whole experience of life has changed for the better. But quite a price.

On reflection, the two most important things I have learnt are

1. Life is incredibly precious

2. Life is incredibly fragile

How wonderful for those who while still in good health and without having to be provoked by such a major event like mine, recognise these two facts - how precious life is and how fragile it is - and as a consequence, use their life to full advantage.

Here, from the diary entries of those days as they appeared in my biography The Dragon’s Blessing, I share the letter I wrote to my leg and something of the times.

But first

Thought for the Day

Remembering that you are going to die 

Is the best way I know 
to avoid 

The trap of thinking you have something to lose.


You are already naked.


There is no reason not to follow your heart.


Steve Jobs 



Wednesday, January 8, 1975 — To my leg


How well you have served me for nearly twenty-five years. I remember long treks through the mountains of Gippsland and how you led the way to jump over six-feet-four. That soaring feeling you gave rise to as you swept up into the air, leading the rest of my body into flight. Just the joy of running was so dear. I was fortunate you were so strong and coordinated. 

I guess I shall never again feel my mobility to be normal.

You carry scars of days gone by. Below the knee is a small raised up thickening of skin that reminds me of a tip in Longueville, Sydney. How when a friend had his leg caught in the rubbish, you carried me running half a mile for help and only then let on that you were bleeding so badly. 

On the knee itself is a jagged, ill-defined, purplish scar. A reminder of that foul football match at Sebastopol [near Ballarat] the year before last. It took weeks to get all the gravel out. 

There are two other scars on the lower leg which are reminders of hockey days, flying sticks and pain that was not so easily subdued. More recently there is the bandaged biopsy site and its resultant swelling.

My mind wanders over the many happy times. There are no complaints as the only time you fell short of my expectations was when my pride and ambitions were too great.

That you are to be lost to me in a few hours leaves me feeling empty. I feel drained of feeling. I hope I still go forward with expectation. I am apprehensive and fear I may shrink before the challenge. So melancholy. I must lift my spirits.

Ian spent most of the rest of the day in quiet, melancholic but calm contemplation and redoubled his efforts to meditate in an effort to buoy himself up. Raised as an Anglican he remembered earlier times when repeating the Lord’s Prayer over and over as a twelve- year-old, he had entered the early stages of a meditative state—and it was this technique he returned to once more that day.

He also remembered the advice of Dr Raynor Johnson about meditation from a series of lectures he had given at veterinary school that had made a deep impression on Ian. Johnson had talked of using a mantra, notably the Lord’s Prayer, in repetition as a skillful way to focus the mind and keep it from wandering.

I am repeating the Lord’s Prayer, and with eyes closed, trying to fix my concentration between my eyes and to keep my mind clear. The only thing that has any certainty is the repetition of the Prayer. Most of the time thoughts come bursting in over the top of it, cascading ideas through my head. I am still full of resolve, but the more imperfections I see, the more awesome the task.

The prayer and his journal were his only anchors at a time when many might have dropped into bottomless depths of utter despair, or worse, succumbed to a blind and terrible panic.

Ian remained calm as he was wheeled to his appointment with the surgeons.

I went down to an anaesthetic room where I had to wait about 20 minutes. The delay was good as it gave me time to set my mind at rest and pray for strength. After being transferred from my bed onto a narrower table, a blanket was draped over my surgery gown and I was left to wait.

The room itself was quite narrow and cluttered. My head was at its entrance, my feet pointed towards the operating theatre. At my left stood the anaesthetic machine in all its pseudo complexity. On the walls beside this were benches stacked with intravenous fluids, same as the ones we use. 

Against the opposite wall was a stark bench and cupboard with who knows what in it. From the ceiling hung suspended a huge operating light on articulated beams. There were hinged swinging doors into the operating theatre and, periodically, as people came and went, I caught a glimpse of more lights all focused on the operating table.

Finally my anaesthetist arrived, appearing somewhat apprehensive. I still cannot decide if she was just unsure how to conduct herself with someone who was about to lose a leg or if she was concerned with the technical aspects of the coming procedure . . .

I was soon wheeled into the surgery and manhandled onto the operating table. Then there was much slapping of my left hand by the anaesthetist, presumably to get a vein up. This annoyed me, being quite unpleasant. Anyway, finally we were under way.

I tried to keep meditating and praying as I went under . . .

Mr John Doyle, assisted by Mr Kevin King, amputated Ian’s right leg at the hip. It was barely two weeks after Ian had first realised, on the Bacchus Marsh oval, that something might be seriously awry.

‘It was a very difficult and long operation,’ says Mr Doyle, now retired, reading from his notes from the operation. The surgery took almost three hours.

‘Most amputations are just below the knee or just above the knee,’ he says. ‘This was through the hip joint. I don’t think I’d ever done a disarticulation through the hip at that stage. These things are pretty uncommon. Kevin had done two, which is why we joined forces.’

RESOURCE 

The Dragon’s Blessing by Guy Allenby – the official biography

2015 CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Full details are on the website, click here

FIRST MEDITATION RETREAT
Meditation in the Forest        March 27th to April 2nd  2015

During this meditation retreat, we will be focusing upon the deeper stillness of meditation. We will explore the theory, but moreso, the actual practices that help us to go beyond the activity of the thinking mind into a more direct and profound experience of the still mind.

Deep, natural peace. A calm and clear mind. So many possibilities follow…..

FULL DETAILS Click here 

FIRST SPECIFIC CANCER PROGRAM

CANCER and BEYOND  May 2015   Monday 4th at 11am to Friday 8th at 2pm

Five Day Residential Follow-up Program at the Gawler Foundation in the Yarra Valley

This program is specifically designed for those with cancer along with their support people who have attended a previous Gawler Foundation program or equivalent such as with Sabina Rabold, CSWA, Cancer Care SA, CanLive NZ, or with the Gawlers

A unique opportunity to meet with like-minded people once again, to consolidate what you already know, to learn more from the combined knowledge, experience and wisdom of Ian and Ruth, to reaffirm your good intentions, and to go home refreshed and revitalised.

FULL DETAILS Click here

Cancer, transformation and meaning

We learn so much through sharing our personal stories. So as 2013 draws to an end, what a delight to be able to share some of the inspirational life story of a doctor diagnosed with breast cancer. Dr Ilana Galgut has been attending a group I have been facilitating in Melbourne for the last 2 years and she has kindly offered to share her story – as she presented it recently to a hospital meeting.

Stories can demonstrate how real suffering can be transformed, how often lives change for the better in response to adversity, and how meaning is found.

Stories grant us a glimpse into another human being’s life. We get to share in their experience, to travel with them, to understand something of the choices they made and why, to have the opportunity to consider what we might have done in similar circumstances, learn from other people’s strengths and weaknesses; be uplifted, be informed, be inspired.

Also, a big thank you to all those who have supported Ruth and myself throughout 2013 in the work we offer. May 2014 be a year of good health, deep satisfaction and profound meaning – now there is a nice thought!

But first

Thought for the Day
We are healed more by what we turn our mind towards in love
Than what we turn away from in fear
               Ian Gawler
                   I think this is mine; I have been saying it for years, 
                   but does anyone know where it may have been quoted earlier?

Here is Ilana's story 


- plus a photo of the 2 of us :)










Thanks for providing the opportunity to share a little of my story.

Up until the 25th of May 2011, I was a hardworking, capable, independent single mum whose whole purpose in life was to look after my patients and my children.

I was working part time as a women’s health GP as well as a Cosmetic Doctor - making people happy by putting needles in their faces! I was an evidence -based, very thorough conventional GP, not into all the “airy-fairy stuff” of meditation and supplements.

However, my life was about to change forever - and on the 26th of May, I found my cancer. Initially I reacted like a doctor and went about my working day, squeezing in an appointment for a mammogram.

But I did not come out of the x-ray department the same person I went in as. The non-perk of being a doctor kicked in immediately as I was advised of my diagnosis whilst still in the x-ray department. A biopsy followed as did a visit to my favourite breast surgeon to whom I used to send my patients.

The medical travelator began of CT scans, bone scans, mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. I felt no loss at removing my breasts as I deemed them to no longer be my friends but rather as wielding an atom bomb, which was about to take my life. In the same light I have not had a reconstruction as my scars are the testimony to how I saved my life!

I also did not grieve the loss of my hair as, yet again, the chemo was to annihilate any remaining uninvited guests in my body, the cancer cells.

Imagine my surprise when one day, my 10 year old daughter said to me, “ Mum, I think God gave us cancer to be good to us. Because without it you would have never stopped working so hard”.

Well how right she was. I needed a wake up call and it had to be something as huge as this to get me really moving.

In the same way that I looked after my patients, leaving no stone unturned, I set about investigating the best way to make sure that I am here for as long as I possibly can be.

I could not find the proof and the guarantees that my treatment would cure me. And what I discovered in my search for creating a healthy body went very much against my medical training and scientific background.

There was a large void in the system between the oncologists, the treatment and me the whole person.  I was told that stress does not cause cancer but I was stressed out to the max and had been living like a crazy girl. I was told there is no special diet that could help me and if there were, the oncologists would be advising me of it.

But it really did not sit well with me that all I could do was to hope that the treatment would work. So I set about to build myself a new body, ensuring that the body that developed the cancer, no longer existed. I decided that whatever I had been doing was clearly not the right thing.

I found myself a GP who is a very special lady. She helped me through the fear and anxiety of chemo and surgery and suggested that I attend a healing group at a Buddhist temple to help me cope better.

That was, I think, the real beginning of my new life. I learnt to meditate, think about the purpose of life and what really matters to me in my life. I learnt that cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, regardless of the medical prognosis. I was introduced to people who, in medical doctor language, should not be here today, never mind be cancer free.

And slowly, slowly I entered a world about which I was previously very cynical.

I changed my diet, changed my view of my work and career, realising that there was no need to prove anything to anyone, and embarked on a journey to learn more about myself.

I met a wonderful lady hypnotherapist, who helped me deal with heavy suitcases of emotional baggage that I had be lugging around from childhood. I read books about living and also books about dying. I started singing lessons, art classes and Latin dancing. I really was creating a new life, having more fun than I had had in many years.

One day it suddenly dawned on me that I had needed to learn about dying to really be able to learn how to live.

I was learning how to nurture myself and how to create a healthy body, mind and soul, retaining people and things that would foster my transition to a healthy life. It then struck me that yes, I had lost my breasts, but had grown some balls instead. I was unburdening myself of negative influences in my life.

One of my mentors, Ian Gawler, has written a book called You Can Conquer Cancer and I believe that I have conquered it. That does not mean that I will live forever, but I have allowed the cancer to open up my mind and broaden the opportunities that I afford myself. I have lost a lot but gained so much more and I am living a life that is not governed by the what-ifs, the should’ves and the could’ves.

At yet, I have not returned to my GP work as I am not currently well enough to do that but I have assisted many other ladies along their journey through breast cancer because I have learnt to embrace and utilise the best of all available therapeutic modalities - both conventional western medicine as well as complementary medicine. I have learnt to marry the two, as the combination was what worked for me, to get me through this life changing experience.

I will never be grateful for the experience of cancer as there is nothing nice about life with cancer looming in the shadows, but I believe that I took from it the opportunity to learn and grow and can truly say that I am now living my best life ever.

RELATED BLOG
You are the inspiration

NEWS – Very engaging/interesting/informative Video Link
Dr Neal Barnard, M.D. is the author of – the nutritional equivalent of You Can Conquer Cancer for Type 2 Diabetes and President of the Physician’s Committee for Responsible Medicine – a very significant US medical body. Watch him here discuss the benefits of a plant-based diet on the Intelligence Squared Don't Eat Anything With a Face debate. Dr. Barnard and Gene Bauer won the debate, convincing more people in the studio to change their views on this important topic and winning a majority of the online voters. CLICK HERE

Trouble viewing? Watch here

Dr. Barnard’s closing statement:
Let's say your teenage son or daughter says to you, “Mom and Dad, I’ve decided I’m going to eat my fruits and vegetables, but I’m not going to eat anything with a face—and don’t worry, I know where to get my protein. This isn’t that hard." If you were to then look at the numbers and realize that your child's likelihood of becoming obese, having a heart attack, or developing cancer or diabetes just plummeted, you would be thrilled. That is what we are voting for now.

If you were part of an insurance group where your premiums depended on everyone’s state of health, and if everyone in the group decided to stop eating meat, you’d be thrilled.
The world’s strongest man is Patrik Baboumian, who recently lifted 1,210 pounds on an entirely plant-based diet.

The world’s greatest long-distance runner is Scott Jurek. He runs 100, 125, even 150 miles without stopping, and he does it faster than any other human being—powered by a plant-based diet.

On Monday, at the World Memory Championship in England, where contestants can memorize a deck of cards in 30 seconds and perform other mind-blowing feats, the world champion was 25-year-old Jonas Von Essen of Sweden, who was powered by an entirely plant-based diet.

Arguably the world’s greatest brain, Albert Einstein, wrote: “It is my view that the vegetarian manner of living, by its purely physical effect on the human temperament, would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind.”Einstein continued: "So I am living without fats, without meat, without fish, and am feeling quite well this way. It always seems to me that man was not born to be a carnivore."

A generation ago, we tackled tobacco. And while everyone is free to smoke, we just know we are not going to do it. Today, the issue is food. For yourself, and especially for your children, let me ask you to vote for this resolution: Don’t eat anything with a face.

Want to jump into a healthful plant-based diet? Start now at 21DayKickstart.org.

Interested in learning more? We have all the educational resources you need at PCRM.org/LitStore.

COMING EVENTS

Meditation in the Forest : April 11 – 17,  2014

The regular Pre-Easter retreat Ruth and I present is on in the Yarra Valley again. This year as well as providing the opportunity to learn more about relaxation, mindfulness and meditation, and to deepen your experience of same, the particular focus of the retreat will be on contemplation.

For details CLICK HERE

New Year’s Eve – and the marathon vegans return to Fed Square

Consider this – Janette and Alan Wakelin will complete 365 marathons on New Year’s Eve and will be arriving in Melbourne’s Federation Square that afternoon. The celebrations/welcome will be on from 2 - 4pm.

Maybe if you are coming in for the evening fireworks, maybe if you are simply inspired by their extra-ordinary endurance feat, you could join us in the city and welcome them home.

Details of their efforts CLICK HERE

Cancer survivors? Cancer thrivers!!!

This is your personal invitation to be inspired, to be informed, to support cancer survivors generally and the self-help options specifically.

In the centre of Melbourne, on Tuesday, the 5th of March from 6.30 to 8.30pm, three remarkable cancer survivors will join me to talk about how we not only managed to survive against the odds, but to actually thrive in the process. The flier is attached at the end of this post.

Now there is a great notion. Not just a cancer survivor, a cancer thriver! So this week, continuing the theme of what is happening in the world of cancer, let us go “Out on a Limb” and discuss what it is to thrive amidst adversity, and meet some great “thrivers”. But first,

Thought for the Day
            Keep your goals and dreams just beyond your reach 
           And your integrity beyond reproach
                                           Richard Carmona, MD; 17th Surgeon General of the United States

Jess Ainscough, Scott, Stephens, Ruth McGowan. They all challenge the popular notion of what it is to have cancer. Vibrant, active, up-beat, full of life. How do they do it, given they have all faced life-threatening cancers and still in some sense live under that shadow?

One thing is for sure, their attitudes, their way of coping, their way of thriving, did not happen by chance or some stroke of good luck. Each of them in their own way has worked hard, continues to work hard, to be a cancer survivor, a cancer thriver.

Sure there are the common factors; taking nutrition and what they eat very seriously, developing a positive state of mind and working on the power of their minds, and of course meditating heaps; but then there are the individual variations, the personal touches that bring their individuality to the healing equation.

Jess is young and dynamic; on a mission to reach out and help thousands through her Wellness Warrior website, blog and Wellness Warrior Lifestyle Transformation Guide.














Scott is such a “bloke”, with the freshness
and openness of a real Australian man that
warms everyone’s heart and opens them to
his remarkable understandings and insights
into what it takes to heal and to be well.













Then Ruth, with the maturity that comes from
being a mayor amidst the devastation of the
Black Saturday fires. Who has known a brother
thrive through a long and difficult cancer; felt
the pain of his death, felt the powerful urge to
do all she can to survive and thrive through
her own challenges.

As a final bonus, Peter Roberts will be joining us with
his wonderful harp. Peter will play during the light
supper being served from 6.30 to 7.00pm before we
begin the talking, and then he will join me to lead a meditation.










Then there is You Can Conquer Cancer, my old book recently invigorated by a complete re-write and with a life of its own. Happily on this occasion, Dr Francis Macnab, that extraordinary psychologist and Minister of the Uniting Church’s St Michaels on Collins, will re-launch the new edition.

Takes me back to 1984 when Weary Dunlop, that famous doctor from Changi, Patron of the Cancer Council, long-term supporter of my work and someone I was privileged and proud to call a mentor and friend, launched the first edition.

Now the hope is that this new edition of You Can Conquer Cancer can be re-translated into the 13 languages the old one is in and maybe some new ones, and sell another 250,000 copies at least.

Over 120,000 people will be diagnosed with cancer in Australia this year. That is way too many people. We all need to do what we can to help those who are basically well to stay that way, to follow a healthy lifestyle and avoid developing cancer.

Then for those who do develop cancer, we need to help them to understand that they have a crucial role, quite possibly the most important role in their own recovery.

So tell the family, tell your friend and your colleagues. Tell them about the new book, maybe give them a copy. Share the flier attached to this blog with all you can. If you live within easy distance of Melbourne come and show your support for the cancer survivors, the cancer thrivers. Come and learn what you can do for your own health, healing and wellbeing. Entry is a modest $20, $15 concession.

The evening is in the beautiful St Michaels church at 120 Collins St and if you have not been in there before, it is one of Melbourne’s beautiful treasures. And all proceeds are going to the Gawler Foundation (everyone involved is donating their time).

See you there! The flier is attached at the end of this post.

RELATED BLOGS
A new year, a new way of living

The completely new You Can Conquer Cancer is released

Recovering from cancer is possible


RESOURCES

BOOK: You Can Conquer Cancer

CDs: The Gawler Cancer Program

What to do when someone you love has cancer

ON-LINE: The Wellness Warrior - Jess Ainscough

The Wellness Warrior Lifestyle Transformation Guide.

Wellness Activist and 'Cancer Thriver' Kris Carr writes in the Huffington Post about Her Crazy Sexy Kitchen

LIFESTYLE-BASED CANCER SUPPORT PROGRAMS: The Gawler Foundation


NEWS
Reclaiming Joy –A new book with a related theme.

Recently I was asked to write a foreword for a great book I can highly recommend. This is an anthology of stories from members of a group of thrivers managing cancer and other difficult circumstances. But it is way above what some of these books have been. This one is insightful, quirky, compelling. Well worth a read!

Here is the foreword I wrote for it which I hope inspires you to read it.

Truth is a rare and wonderful commodity. Eloquent truth even rarer, even more wonderful.
The truth is that chronic illness takes everyone affected by it through a wide range of thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Now, there are some people affected by chronic illness who become preoccupied with ‘being positive’. Or is it more accurate to say preoccupied with their own notion of what it is to be positive? Usually this version of being positive means ‘putting on a brave face’, ‘grinning and bearing it’, attempting to be ‘up’ all the time.

Some in fact do make a reasonable pretence of this façade. It can serve as a relief to those around them. ‘She is taking it so well’. ‘He is so brave’. Yet underneath, the nagging doubt. ‘How is she really?’

Well, the cost of being sunny all the time, is to ignore the truth and deal with the consequences.

The truth is that chronic illness involves ups and downs, highs and lows. Acknowledging this, rather than pretending it is not so, is actually easier, more energy efficient, more likely to lead to comfort and ease amidst the swings.

The truth leads to freedom. Freedom to feel as you do, freedom to be genuine, freedom to be authentic. The consequence of living the truth is that this state enables one to recognise difficulties, feel them, and rather than be stuck attempting to deny them, be free to do something useful in response.

So Reclaiming Joy is a wonderful book filled with eloquent truth. The contributors, all of whom share the common thread of chronic illness, speak personally and openly about their range of experiences—the good, the bad and the ugly! But then they also discuss their attempts to find practical solutions. Many of these attempts are successful and will have general and immediate relevance to a wide range of the community.

The book also offers insight, good humour and real positivity. This is not a book of wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is where you hope for the best and do nothing about it.

This is a book of positive thinking—where you hope for the best and do a lot about it!
My wish is that this book is read widely. In a time where so much chronic illness is around us, even affecting us personally, Reclaiming Joy offers insight, hope and real possibilities. Eloquent truth. A real blessing.

Dr Ian Gawler OAM
Author of Peace of Mind & You Can Conquer Cancer
Yarra Junction

Reclaiming Joy: Living well with chronic illness, by Ruth Winton-Brown

The book is most easily ordered by emailing Ruth Winton-Brown on: rwintonbrown@yahoo.com.au

Cancer survivors come to Today Tonight

There is nothing quite as compelling as a personal story well told. Jackie Woodroffe is nearly 30 years on from having widespread secondary breast cancer diagnosed and being told there was nothing more that could be done for her medically. Scott Stevens has fully recovered from advanced, secondary melanoma. Their stories of recovery provide welcome inspiration, hope and direction for everyone facing the many challenges cancer throws up.

The world need more good news cancer stories, needs to consider new ways of recovering and living; so it is wonderful that Channel Seven’s Today Tonight featured these two in such a positive light recently.

So this week, a Christmas treat with a link to their program, a couple of short but delightful links of kindness and humour in action, and a big wish for a Happy Christmas and a healthy, joyful and meaningful New Year. But first

Thought for the Day
Untamed beings are as unlimited as space.

You will never be able to overcome them all.

Yet, if you could simply overcome the hatred in your mind, 

You will find that it is as if you have overcome them all.


How can you possibly find enough leather

To cover the earth?

But if you could just wear leather sandals,

You will find it to be as if you have covered the earth. 

In the same way, you will never be able to change

All external objects.

But if you change your own mind,

There is no need to change anything else.
                                                Shantideva – 8th Century Indian Buddhist scholar

Great way to finish the year being a part of a program that featured two great cancer survivor/thrivors. True, I got to be described as a “cancer guru, miracle worker”!, but on Today Tonight I think that is a compliment. And I got to point out that my own story of recovery from secondary cancer 35 years ago was clearly proven and beyond doubt.

It is a well made piece, Scott and Jackie speak very well on it, so here is the link


Next, some fun for Christmas.
First a short clip demonstrating genuine, heart warming humanity at work – for animals
: Mumma bear and the three cubs
.
Then, it is always good to have a stereotype broken. This is very funny; who said you cannot herd cats.


So may the spirit of Christmas, that unconditional love spoken of 2 blogs back, fill your heart and all those you care for; and may you care for everyone and everything on this amazing planet we are spinning around upon.


RELATED BLOGS
A Christmas gift

The completely new You Can Conquer Cancer

Ian Gawler's cancer diagnosis - if it looks like a duck....


NEWS
1. First review for the fully rewritten new edition of You Can Conquer Cancer
It amazed me that when You Can Conquer Cancer was first published in 1984, it sold large numbers, I was asked to speak about it on many radio programs, yet there was not one review until many years had gone by. I wondered at the time if it was too much of a jump; that the notion of people with cancer being able to do things like change their diets, learn how to us the power of the mind and to meditate with the intention of recovering from cancer; whether that was too much for reviewers to contemplate or to feel confident to commit to with a review in writing.

Anyway, I have been doing the radio interviews again following the release of the major rewrite of You Can Conquer Cancer but this time a review already! It actually describes the book well and maybe explains why I strongly recommend reading it for all those of you who have read and are using the older version. This new book is a big step forward. Here is the link

2. January is Pt Stephens. 
In the next week or so, I will have details of the workshops and retreats Ruth and I will present in 2013 on my website, but the next event is a day workshop in Pt Stephens on Tuesday, January 15th.

For details and to book, click here

3. Meditation in the Forest: Yarra Junction; March 22nd - 28th, 2013

Ready to join Ruth and myself, take some time out and experience deep natural peace - amidst the majestic forests of the Upper Yarra Valley.

This retreat will take you deep into the essence of meditation - the direct experience. As well as being restful and regenerative, in this retreat I will be introducing and guiding a structured series of breathing techniques that enhance concentration, deepen meditation and facilitate healing and wellbeing.

For details and to book, click here