Greetings all, this is a brief post simply to advise you the host that forwards this blog to you has been changed and so you may notice a small variation in the formatting. Rest assured all else is the same and we are maintaining the same strict care with your email details and confidentiality as before.
A new blog post is just around the corner
With love
Ian
We hear a lot these days about mindfulness and awareness; especially in meditation circles. Confused about what each one really means? Knowing the difference, and knowing how to apply each of them, can significantly inform our meditation and our lives for the better? So this is a post to clarify the differences along with an appeal for more consistent and clear usage, plus details of the coming Meditation Teacher Training, and Meditation Retreat, but first
Thought for the Day
The realization of pure Presence and spontaneous luminosity
May take many forms.
A simple one is something like this:
And you have relaxed into the effortlessness
Of your own present awareness,
And then suddenly the mountain is all, you are nothing.
Your separate-self sense is suddenly and totally gone,
And there is simply everything that is arising moment to moment.
You are perfectly aware, perfectly conscious,
Everything seems completely normal,
Except you are nowhere to be found.
You are not on this side of your face looking at the mountain,
You are the sky, you are the clouds,
You are everything that is arising moment to moment,
Very simply, very clearly,
Just so.
Ken Wilbur
My favourite secular definition of mindfulness comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn and his team: mindfulness is paying attention to our present moment experience, deliberately and non-judgementally. Yet look up Google and the often quoted version is mindfulness is awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally. Mindfulness is awareness??? So are they the same? Now I love Jon and his work, but you would have to say this is a bit confusing…
You do not need to read much meditation related literature – whether academic, secular or traditional, to realise the words mindfulness and awareness are used almost interchangeably. Most of the time, the reader is being asked to apply context and sort out what is being meant when.
So mindfulness first. Mindfulness is a function of the mind. It is something the mind does.
Wherever you are right now, simply look away from your screen and focus your attention upon the adjacent photo.
That is concentration – holding your attention deliberately on one thing.
Now notice how your mind tends to react quite quickly to a chosen object like you are watching, and engage in judgement and commentary.
What is going on here? Is that guy crazy?…
I really do not like this, or maybe I do???
So now, continue to hold your attention on the object and drop the judgement and any commentary. That is mindfulness. To be clear, mindfulness is a particular type of concentration. Mindfulness is paying attention to our present moment experience, deliberately and non-judgementally.
If you take a moment, you may be able to notice how in mindfulness, it is almost like your mind goes out to the object, fixes upon it and engages with it.
Now awareness. Whereas mindfulness involves the mind going out to the world, awareness involves the world coming to the mind. Awareness is passive.
This is like being at a movie theatre.
When you first sit in a movie theatre, you are aware you are in the theatre with a screen in front of you.
Then the movie begins, and it is like your attention goes up and into the movie.
Your mindfulness is in the movie, and it is easy for it to get “lost” in the movie.
You forget you are in a theatre watching a movie; it is like you are a part of the movie; lost in its projections.
You tend to lose much of your awareness when you are lost in the movie.
Fuller awareness comes when you snap out of it as it were, and remember you are observing a movie.
There is another important difference between mindfulness and awareness. Mindfulness is a function of the mind; therefore it has no knowledge or wisdom; it is something the mind can do – be mindful. Awareness on the other hand can hold both knowledge and wisdom.
So how does this difference apply to our meditation practice, and our lives? Almost all meditation techniques benefit from three primary ingredients – mindfulness, awareness and spaciousness.
The mindfulness helps to focus our mind and prevent it from becoming distracted. This helps the mind to settle, to become clear – with all the benefits that will bring.
Awareness is necessary because without it we would not know whether we were paying attention, being mindful, or not.
Spaciousness is also necessary so we do not concentrate too hard and give ourselves a headache, not relax or become so indifferent we go to sleep.
So when we begin our meditation, and commonly at that point our mind is likely to be somewhat wild; we need a good deal of mindfulness and awareness to settle the mind – we need to pay attention. As the mind does settle, we can relax more, and steadily move towards being like an impartial observer; to rest in open awareness like an impartial observer; to rest in a state that will be approaching what the essence of meditation is really like.
In our daily life, mindfulness helps us to hold our attention on whatever we chose. But more, it enables us to be open, curious, in the present moment. Why? Or how? Because we have let go of judgement and commentary and can react to things and people with a fresh, open and curious mind. Maybe even with compassion flowing through.
Awareness is just taking this further. Imagine an old person watching a child play. They know the games, there is a gentle humour about it, they are vigilant in an easy, caring sort of way; life seems good.
Finally, you might like to reflect on what this means for your practice and for your life:
You cannot have mindfulness without awareness, but you can have awareness without mindfulness.
Enjoy…
If you are interested to delve into this more deeply – and clearly there is more to it and it warrants discussion; two residential opportunities are coming soon where topics like this will be explored and where we can practice related techniques:
MEDITATION TEACHER TRAINING - Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation
With myself, Ruth and Murray Paterson
TIMES: 11am Monday 6th to 3.30pm Friday 10th May, 2024
VENUE: The Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia
FULL DETAILS: Iangawler.com or Sandy@insighthealth.com.au
MEDITATION RETREAT – Meditation in the Forest
Relaxation, mindfulness, stillness and awareness.
With myself, Ruth and Melissa Borich.
Relax. Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley with its big trees, fresh air, beautiful grounds, the Little Yarra River, and sublime meditation sanctuary.
You can simply let go, and let be…
TIMES: Saturday 22nd June starting at 11am to 2pm Friday 28th June (after lunch) 2024
VENUE: The Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia
DETAILS and BOOKINGS: Iangawler.com or Sandy@insighthealth.com.au
Love him or hate him, there is no doubting Trump is extremely popular with many. Speaking personally, this is something I have struggled to understand. Trump is subject to 91 criminal charges, has consistently displayed erratic behaviour (is that a polite way of putting it?) and most recently has advocated for the Russians to attack more European countries.
Finally, an insight that makes sense, courtesy of Guardian columnist George Monbiot. It has to do with extrinsics and intrinsics. Never before have I posted a blog featuring just one quoted article, however, I found this one so insightful, not just in explaining Trump but many other seemingly weird relationships, that here it is, plus details of the coming meditation retreat and meditation teacher trainings, but first
There is someone smarter than any of us
And that is all of us.
Michael Nolan
Guardian columnist George Monbiot has explored the psychology of Trump’s seeming unbendable appeal to a large section of the American electorate. Below is an edited extract.
The Guardian depends on the generosity of readers like you to fund their fearless, independent journalism. If you can, please do support them : The Guardian
Many explanations are proposed for the continued rise of Donald Trump, and the steadfastness of his support, even as the outrages and criminal charges pile up.
Some of these explanations are powerful.
But there is one I have seen mentioned nowhere, which could, I believe, be the most important: Trump is king of the extrinsics.
Some psychologists believe our values tend to cluster around certain poles, described as “intrinsic” and “extrinsic”.
People with a strong set of intrinsic values are inclined towards empathy, intimacy and self-acceptance.
They tend to be open to challenge and change, interested in universal rights and equality, and protective of other people and the living world.
People at the extrinsic end of the spectrum are more attracted to prestige, status, image, fame, power and wealth.
They are strongly motivated by the prospect of individual reward and praise.
They are more likely to objectify and exploit other people, to behave rudely and aggressively and to dismiss social and environmental impacts.
They have little interest in co-operation or community.
People with a strong set of extrinsic values are more likely to suffer from frustration, dissatisfaction, stress, anxiety, anger and compulsive behaviour. Trump exemplifies extrinsic values. From the tower bearing his name in gold letters to his gross overstatements of his wealth; from his endless ranting about “winners” and “losers” to his reported habit of cheating at golf. Trump, perhaps more than any other public figure in recent history, is a walking, talking monument to extrinsic values.
We are not born with our values. They are shaped by the cues and responses we receive from other people and the prevailing mores of our society. They are also moulded by the political environment we inhabit. If people live under a cruel and grasping political system, they tend to normalise and internalise it. This, in turn, permits an even crueller and more grasping political system to develop.
If, by contrast, people live in a country in which no one becomes destitute, in which social norms are characterised by kindness, empathy, community and freedom from want and fear, their values are likely to shift towards the intrinsic end.
This process is known as policy feedback, or the “values ratchet”.
The values ratchet operates at the societal and the individual level: a strong set of extrinsic values often develops as a result of insecurity and unfulfilled needs.
These extrinsic values then generate further insecurity and unfulfilled needs.
This goes deeper than politics.
For well over a century, the US, more than most nations, has worshipped extrinsic values: the American dream is a dream of acquiring wealth, spending it conspicuously and escaping the constraints of other people’s needs and demands. It is accompanied, in politics and in popular culture, by toxic myths about failure and success: wealth is the goal, regardless of how it is acquired. The ubiquity of advertising, the commercialisation of society and the rise of consumerism, alongside the media’s obsession with fame and fashion, reinforce this story.
We talk about society’s rightward journey.
We talk about polarisation and division.
We talk about isolation and the mental health crisis.
But what underlies these trends is a shift in values.
This is the cause of many of our dysfunctions; the rest are symptoms.
When a society valorises status, money, power and dominance, it is bound to generate frustration. It is mathematically impossible for everyone to be number one. The more the economic elites grab, the more everyone else must lose. Someone must be blamed for the ensuing disappointment.
In a culture that worships winners, it can’t be them.
It must be those evil people pursuing a kinder world, in which wealth is distributed, no one is forgotten and communities and the living planet are protected.
Those who have developed a strong set of extrinsic values will vote for the person who represents them, the person who has what they want. Trump.
And where the US goes, the rest of us follow.
Trump might well win again – God help us if he does.
If so, his victory will be due not only to the racial resentment of ageing white men, or to his weaponisation of culture wars or to algorithms and echo chambers, important as these factors are. It will also be the result of values embedded so deeply that we forget they are there.
COMING EVENTS
Module 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation
11am Monday 6th to 3.30pm Friday 10th May, 2024
Module 2: Contemplation
11am Saturday 2nd to 3.30pm Wednesday 6th November, 2024 (inc Melbourne Cup holiday on the 5th for Victorians)
Full details: Iangawler.com or Sandy@insighthealth.com.au
Meditation Retreat – Meditation in the Forest
Relaxation, mindfulness, stillness and awareness.
Relax. Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley with its big trees, fresh air, beautiful grounds, the Little Yarra River, and sublime meditation sanctuary.
You can simply let go, and let be…
TIMES: Saturday 22nd June starting at 11am to 2pm Friday 28th June (after lunch) 2024
VENUE: The Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia
DETAILS and BOOKINGS: Iangawler.com or Sandy@insighthealth.com.au
Now this will be fun. And profound. And all those other wonderful things a meditation retreat can be! Meditation in the Forest had been an annual event for many years prior to COVID; now it is back – June 22 to 28.
Ruth and I will be joined by our wonderful colleague from Queensland, Melissa Borich, and yes, it will be amidst the wonderful trees and natural beauty of the Upper Yarra, at the Yarra Valley Living Centre.
So in this post, the important differences between the experiences of meditation and the outcomes, plus a suggestion to reserve a place soon as accommodation is more limited than it used to be, but first
Thought for the day
Meditation provides a direct and reliable means
To go beyond the activity of the ordinary thinking mind
And enter into a direct experience of our still mind.
By doing so, we come to know
The truth of who we really are;
What is in our heart’s essence.
Ian Gawler
Consider this…
What is it that helps you to meditate regularly?
Is it in hope of a particular outcome? Resilience, relaxation, clarity of mind, increased vitality, performance, healing, wellbeing, awareness… All very useful. All very reliable meditation outcomes.
Or do you meditate regularly because you like; dare I say, even love the practice itself? Deep, natural peace. The bliss. The clarity. The inner contentment. What a relief! What a joy!
Or is it? So many I speak with are not entirely satisfied with the experience of their practice.
For some, meditation feels more like a chore; something I “have to do”; another thing to squeeze into a busy day.
Something that gets bumped to tomorrow when the pressure ramps up.
And that is just when you need it most.
Others make the effort to meditate in hope their health, their life will get better.
And often it does.
But then when the immediate outcome has been accomplished, or conversely, when they start to feel as if their desired outcome seems unattainable, the meditation stops.
Meditation helps in so many ways, yet if we do not enjoy doing it, we are highly likely to lapse.
So how to enhance the experience of the practice itself?
Ever wondered about what really motivates many people to go on a meditation retreat?
It is the experience!
A meditation retreat can provide the environment, the leadership, the like-minded company, and most importantly, the time and space to deepen your experience of meditation.
And then that experience can inform and inspire our ongoing practice.
It can bring the joy to the practice!
So maybe it is time, time to take some time out, to make the time, create the circumstances, go to a suitable place with suitable people, and meditate a little more deeply.
On retreat you can relax. Let go. Allow the dust to settle. Allow daily concerns to drop by the way. Allow yourself to go beyond the activity of the thinking mind and enter into the deeper experiences of meditation.
“I felt as if a hood had been taken off my head and I saw, really saw for the first time in my life.
“As all this began, I could feel the anticipation that something extraordinary was unfolding, yet my fear was also mounting. Perhaps because I have been quite diligent with my meditation practice these last 3 years, perhaps because so often it has been difficult, perhaps because I did persevere these last few years because I really wanted the outcomes, perhaps because of all this, now I was determined to stay with the fear, stay with the experience.
“As I did so, it was as if my fear dissolved into light. At first it was massive swirls of light, then just all-consuming light. It was as if the light was all through me. I was the light and the light was me.
“ It is almost impossible to describe the feeling adequately. It was rapturous. More; I was ecstatic, and the feeling lasted for days”.
The fact is that these experiences are real.
Yet there is a bit of a trick to all this.
The secret is to focus on the process, not the outcome.
If the experience becomes another outcome to seek, then it may prove very elusive.
The wise thing to do is to enter into an environment where one can have the confidence, support and guidance to let go.
Completely. Let go. Relax. Let go. Deeply. Let go.
Then the experience comes.
And once it does, that experience will be ever with you. Then the experience will be something you can come back to. Then you will be keen to meditate for the sake of the meditation itself; for the experience, not just the outcome.
Meditation in the Forest, 11am Saturday 22nd to 2pm Friday 28th June, 2024
Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt Yarra Junction, Vic 3797
Drs Ian and Ruth Gawler, with Melissa Borich
Have you ever considered becoming a teacher of meditation? Some make a career out of it; many teach part-time within their communities, workplaces, schools; there are many possibilities…
Having led my first meditation teacher training program way back in 1988, it is a real delight to be able to offer 2 programs in 2024. Ruth and I love teaching teachers and we will be joined by Murray Paterson who has a wealth of experience in adult education and meditation practice and teaching.
These Gawler meditation teacher trainings will be personalised, interactive and fun. They will be informed by ancient wisdom, our collective experiences, and the best of modern research. Maybe it is time to join us?, but first
Thought for the day
Learning to meditate is the greatest gift
You can give yourself or another in this life.
For it is only through meditation
That we can undertake the journey
To discover our true nature,
And so find the stability and confidence
We will need to live, and to die, well.
We are calling these the Gawler meditation teacher trainings. There are two modules. Each stands independently, but ideally you would join both as they do build on and complement each other. Completing both trainings does meet the 80 hour learning requirement that is an essential pre-requisite for joining Meditation Australia. Our courses are accredited by Meditation Australia for this purpose.
Each module is fully residential. Sure, many people do like to learn things online and often do so successfully, but this is meditation. It is best learnt directly, in person. Also, by being residential there is a huge bonus. You leave your normal life behind for a few days and in doing so, you can concentrate fully on the program, and importantly, you will have some time to yourself…
Have you ever been on a holiday where it was fun, yet you returned and a few days later it was all over; almost forgotten? Sure, the schedules are quite full for the trainings, but we have factored in some free time for self-reflection, walking amongst the beautiful – and inspiring – grounds of the Yarra Valley Living Centre; and there are the dual possibilities of time to talk with like-minded people, and some time for simply being quiet. It will be worth the effort to make the time, to travel and to attend in person. Come back from this and life will be different, and you will have a skill you can use into the future…
Meditation Teacher Training – Module 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation
The Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation module will cover all the essentials of how to present a meditation course in-person or online.
(Yes we do help you with how to present online as we recognise so many people are requesting this for actual meditation programs).
A comprehensive approach to meditation that covers preparation, relaxation, concentration and mindfulness plus stillness.
An approach to meditation that goes to the very essence…
Theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more…
Developed for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.
Meditation Teacher Training – Module 2: Contemplation
11am Saturday 2nd to 3.30pm Wednesday 6th November, 2024
(inc Melbourne Cup holiday on the 5th for Victorians)
So many people in so many domains recommend the benefits of contemplation. Yet who is teaching how to do it? Very few it seems… This contemplation training will position you to be able to offer your community something of great value – a reliable way to practice contemplation. This training is also manual based and will enable you to deliver a much-needed program.
Of great personal value, this training is suitable for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.
Highly experiential, it will provide a review of the first module that will have given more attention to the basics of how to develop, manage and deliver a meditation program or course.
Here we will give some attention to theory, research, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges of online courses, but the emphasis will be on experiencing the key practices of contemplation, and working on how to best present a course focussing upon contemplation.
As a feature, ongoing mentorship can be considered for people completing these trainings.
Additional information and Booking details are available via this link
How to apply for either or both meditation teacher trainings:
1. The first step is to contact our Retreat Manager, Sandy Clinton and express your interest via sandy@insighthealth.com.au or call 0432 240 427.
Sandy will reply with more program details and forward our Application Form.
2. Once Sandy has received your completed application, she will arrange a short phone conversation to clarify what the trainings offer, discuss your needs, answer any questions and ensure the program is suitable for you.
3. Once accepted for the training(s), you pay a deposit or full fee to reserve your place.
4. Full payment is due 3 weeks prior to the commencement of your training.
ALSO – ADVANCED NOTICE for MEDITATION in the FOREST! June 2024
It is back! After COVID, lock downs, so many ups and downs…
Join us for the very popular Meditation in the Forest 7 day meditation retreat.
Open to and suitable for both those newer to meditation, and those more experienced.
Relaxation, mindfulness, stillness and awareness.
Ruth and I will be joined by the Melissa Borich who brings all her experience in personal practice and teaching yoga and meditation for many years.
For your part?
Simply make the time and come along…
Relax. Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley with its big trees, fresh air, beautiful grounds, the Little Yarra River, and sublime meditation sanctuary.
You can simply let go, and let be…
TIMES: Saturday 22nd June starting at 11am to 2pm Friday 28th June (after lunch) 2024
VENUE: The Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia
DETAILS and BOOKINGS: Will be posted on the website soon, and will be featured in the next blog…
In this final episode, what Ruth did to recovery, plus bookings are now open for the Meditation Teacher Trainings in June and November - details below.
At the end of 2022, Ruth was beginning to recover from 6 tough months with Long COVID. However, she was still beset by severe back pain and so, feeling somewhat generally improved, opted for surgery. Happily, the lumbar laminectomy was successful, but following the anaesthetic, her long COVID was re-ignited. It was now worse than ever.
So in this final post: what happened, what Ruth tried to overcome the Long COVID and some speculation around the nature of this tough disease; but first
Thought for the day
Every challenge we encounter
Is an opportunity to learn to stand on our own again,
Grounded and immoveable by any external force,
Unperturbed by inner grasping or turmoil.
This is the final truth of being human,
Even if we cannot see it yet.
Cristina Moon
Ruth experienced 18 months of severe back pain that overlapped with 15 months of severe Long COVID whose symptoms began post-vaccination. Now recovered from both, here is her timeline with a short s summary of the experiences:
2021
June: Back injury while sea kayaking. Extreme left lower back pain
August 21: First COVID vaccination – Pfizer
September 15: Second COVID vaccination – Pfizer
2022
January 11: Third COVID vaccination – Moderna
January 18: Surge of overwhelming anxiety felt (detailed in Part 2) that was a prelude to increasing anxiety, generalised fear, insomnia, lack of appetite and weight loss.
June 15: COVID infection, coughing but relatively uneventful recovery in around 9 days.
June 29: First incident of dysautonomia with physical collapse, low blood pressure and low heart rate.
July 4: Second incident of dysautonomia with collapse, low blood pressure and low heart rate. Hospitalisation; thorough investigations all showing normal results.
July 14 and 15: Third incident of dysautonomia with collapse, low blood pressure and heart rate. More detailed investigations including specialist immunology; again all showing normal results.
July 17: The Long COVID symptoms became continuous/chronic.
By now the dysautonomia was continuous, day and night, with marked anxiety, fluctuating abnormally fast or slow heart rate, anxiety with jaw chattering, excessive sweating, extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, trouble swallowing, nausea, trembling and weight loss (From 58 to 51kg), profound insomnia, headaches and vision problems. Ghastly physical sensations resulting in extreme physical tension.
At the same time - post-COVID - my mind was severely affected with what was diagnosed as “Organic Brain Syndrome” due to inflammation of the brain. This manifested as debilitating and severely restricted lack of concentration, intolerance to bright light, having marked cognitive decline and amazingly limited ability to make decisions. Even when I did come to a decision, I would then be confused and vacillate from moment to moment.
November and December: The Long COVID symptoms began to lift, exposing the severity of the ongoing back pain. Given my health was now improving, and reasoning the chronic pain may be holding me back from full recovery, I sought out another surgeon. Upon more investigations he indicated surgery had a 50/50 prospect of success, and I then got another neurosurgical opinion which agreed. So with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, I made plans to go ahead with the surgery.
2023
The surgery was uneventful (although a diagnostic epidural in the lead up had created its own ongoing complications) and the back pain diminished. However, post surgically, the Long COVID flared up badly and became much worse than it had been beforehand.
Over the next 6 months, the Long COVID symptoms remained extreme and continuous despite me trying many modalities and receiving help from a remarkable group of family, friends and health professionals.
June: Recovery begins
Almost one year after it started, I began to have some “good days”; days when the symptoms were markedly lessened. I called these “zombie” days because although they were an improvement, I felt like a stunned mullet. But this was better than the state of panic on the bad days. But then it would be devastating when the symptoms returned as severely as ever the next day. For months there was this remarkable alternating pattern of one good day, one bad day, followed by one good day, one bad day, and so on… and on. This rollercoaster and unexplained pattern went on for months, was quite dispiriting and led to some periods of feeling completely hopeless.
It is a strange and wonderful feeling after having been so sick for so long, to wake up one day and realise you really are getting better!
It felt like a miracle, but actually was probably the result of a combination of many things finally coming together: time, and the many things I had tried and the many people who had helped me.
My recover progressed rapidly and within 2 weeks I was dramatically improved, with a new lease on life.
It surprised me as much as others! And I decided I would never have an mRNA vaccine again.
What Ruth did
From Ian again:
This blog has nothing to do with medical advice. Yes, Ruth is a doctor, but this is an account of how she navigated a very tough health issue in her own personal way. There is a need to understand her physical and mental condition was both extreme and persistent. As a result, she consulted many experts in their fields, investigated as much as possible on the internet and read widely and took account of advice from her medical and allied health professional friends (some of whom were suffering similar issues).
Because so little is known of this condition, Ruth has decided to share the full range of what she tried, recognising that hers is clearly one case and does not provide the basis for anyone else’s decision making. If you are dealing with this or a similar tough health condition, it is essential to seek out the best advice you can, weigh it up, then make, and own your own decisions.
What follows are Ruth’s words:
1. Love and practical support
i) From caring people
Especially Ian and the Brahma Kumaris (the group that has been handed the Yarra Valley Living Centre following the collapse of Gawler Foundation). I had unreserved support and residential care from Morni, Caroline, Gopi, Kalvinder and Pamela. Genuine unconditional love. Sandy Clinton’s dedicated practical support and promise to see me through whatever happened.
Babysitting, cooking and driving from my sons Saul and Misha, brother David and his wife Carolyn; sister-in-law Susie and husband Ross, plus friends Naomi Travers, Vyv Mishra, Kate Grosser, Sally Browne, Loretto Hosking, Rabbi Laibl Wolfe, and Ilan Watchivka.
I could not drive or shop or cook for over a year.
ii) Health Professionals
Dr Hilda Jessop, Prof Ian Brighthope, Dr Vicki Kotsirilos, Dr Rachel Darken, Dr Danielle Villiunus, Siegfried Gutbrod, Dr Kerryn Phelps, Mr David De La Harpe, Dr Peter McArdle to name the main ones.
iii) Allowing and asking for help.
Learning to let people care for me, accepting and asking for assistance. Being more honest and open about everything. Letting go of unnecessary inhibitions.
There were many times when I felt so bad, so desperate, I was wishing I would get cancer and be able to die in a hospice. I had even put my name down at an Aged Care facility after a year, because I believed I would not recover and it was too much for Ian to care for me for the rest of my life.
Having worked in Mindbody Medicine for so many years, the extreme nature of these thoughts led me into a deeper realisation of the key role my mind played in whether I would recover or not; or end my life.
This realisation and determination to get through the illness forced me to do the practices of breathing exercises and Tibetan Buddhist prayers and visualisation.
This was all very challenging as I had no concentration to speak of; but I did my best to meditate daily for as long as I could manage, and I did make a conscious decision to live for my family.
I was extremely dysfunctional and needed to use various medications to get through the days and to sleep at night (although even then, my sleep was very erratic).
3) Healthy diet and exercise
I ate, and still do, a (mostly) organic, whole food, plant-based diet with regular eggs and fish once a week. I took 2-3 vegetable juices (bottled- Biotta) daily over the first 6 months, reducing down over time. No alcohol for over a year. Made myself walk for 30 mins a day no matter what. Feet on the grass for grounding.
4) Gut dysbiosis and constipation treatment
I tried multiple therapies for the dysbiosis that had developed early on and persisted, (now recovered) including Trimethoprim, Doxycycline and at a different time Rifaximin. Probiotics, especially Lactobacillus reuteri.
Constipation was a consistent issue so I did many things to manage that including using suppositories and enemas. All my life I have had an irritable bowel, well managed with diet and medications.
5) Supplements
Again, I experimented with a wide range of supplements, took some for a short period, while I continue to take others. I am deliberately not detailing doses or duration of taking these, as this varied and was dependent on other factors.
In no particular order, and each person needs to make their own decisions:
High dose Vit C orally (already mentioned), High dose Vit B1 and B3, Tressos B, Vitamin D, N Acetyl Cysteine, CoQ10, Curcubrain, Flaxseed oil, Nattokinanse, Quercetin, Bromelains, Dandelion root tea, Magnesium, Essiac tea and GABA.
6) The FLCCC Protocol for Long COVID
I experimented with some of this including Prednisone, High dose Vit C, Fluvoxamine and Ivermectin.
7) Medications
Included at different times, in various doses: Seroquel, Temazepam, Diazepam, Lexapro, Ducolax, Movicol, Medicinal cannabis, Melatonin, low dose asprin and Mirtazepine.
All of these seemed to help to some degree; very hard to quantify:
Hyperbaric Oxygen – I had 40 treatments of 1.5 hours duration each,
Acupuncture – conventional and by Laser, Aerobic exercise, Shiatsu, Massage, Reflexology, Reiki, Yoga with my legs up the wall daily for 10 – 20 mins to increase intra-cranial perfusion. Journaling, regular Counselling, Prayer by me and for me, Healing Circles via Allevi8 and BKs.
What caused all this?
Ian writing again:
Clearly, there is no consensus on what causes Long COVID, but what is clear is Ruth had been chronically healthy for decades, yet immediately after her third COVID vaccine she developed a raft of debilitating symptoms. These symptoms were aggravated and heightened shortly after she went through infection with COVID. She met no one who had long COVID who was unvaccinated, contrary to what is written in articles.
My own sense is that Ruth had an initial effect from the vaccine, and that sensitised her to the COVID virus, it was as if the vaccine generated an autoimmune response that affected both her body, brain and therefore her mind.
Some are calling Long COVID “Long Spike Disease” as the spike proteins have been implicated.
If you are interested, here is a link to a recent research paper on this:
Theoharides TC. Could SARS-CoV-2 Spike Protein Be Responsible for Long-COVID Syndrome?
Mol Neurobiol. 2022 Mar;59(3):1850-1861.
Clearly more good independent research is needed, and it is worth noting that after a slow start, this line of research is gathering momentum.
MEDITATION TEACHER TRAINING in 2024
With Ian and Ruth Gawler, supported by Murray Paterson and Sandy Clinton
Aspiring to teach meditation? Or keen to expand and deepen your skills?
Are you applying for registration with Meditation Australia and need an approved course?
Ian and Ruth Gawler have been teaching teachers of meditation for decades.
Murray Paterson is a long-term meditator and leader in corporate and adult education.
The two trainings for 2024 will both be manual based, be sound in theory and be highly experiential. There will be many practice sessions where you will be encouraged to experiment with your delivery style and to hone it.
You will be guided and supported to develop confidence and competency.
All programs will be in-person only, fully residential, at the Yarra Valley Living Centre.
Meditation Teacher Training – Part 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation
Monday 6th to Friday 10th May, 2024
This is a basic yet thorough training in how to present a meditation course, whether in-person or online.
A comprehensive approach to meditation that covers preparation, relaxation, concentration and mindfulness plus stillness. An approach to meditation that goes to the very essence…
Theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more…
Developed for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.
Meditation Teacher Training – Part 2: Contemplation
Saturday 2nd to Wednesday 6th November, 2024 (including Melbourne Cup holiday for Victorians)
So many people in so many domains recommend the benefits of contemplation.
Yet who is teaching how to do it? Very few it seems…
This training will position you to be able to offer your community something of great value – a reliable way to practice contemplation. This training is also manual based and will enable you to deliver a much-needed program.
Of great personal value, this training is also suitable for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further. It too will be highly experiential, as well as delving into theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more.
Criteria to join these Meditation Teacher Trainings
Both trainings are broad. They are both specifically designed to be accessible and valuable to beginners and the more experienced teachers. In past trainings, this mix of participants has made for a very engaging cohort.
It is recommended applicants have at least 2 years of regular meditation practice and some experience with speaking in public. All applicants will be requested to discuss the suitability of the trainings for their needs and situation with our training manager.
FOR DETAILS AND BOOKINGS: CLICK HERE
Many people endure back pain; for some it is severe back pain. As Ruth explained in the previous post, her experience was quite severe - as it has been for many others - but for Ruth, the back pain was then overlaid with Long COVID.
While the illness nearly did kill her, she is now recovered and is keen to continue her story to add to the record and open more enquiry around this emerging and perplexing condition called Long COVID.
Also, read on below for outlines of the meditation retreat and meditation teacher trainings Ian and Ruth will present in 2024, but first
Thought for the day
I am being driven forward
Into an unknown land.
The pass grows steeper,
The air colder and sharper.
A wind from my unknown goal
Stirs the strings of expectation.
Still the question: Shall I ever get there?
There where life resounds,
A clear pure note
In the silence.
Dag Hammarskjöld
Ruth continues to recount her story:
Having COVID itself was relatively minor for me. In June 2022, six months prior to the successful back surgery, I contracted a moderate COVID 19 infection which seemed straight forward enough at the time; a flu-like illness that lasted 9 days with quite a bit of coughing. Although debilitated by what had been by then a year of excruciating back pain, I was not worried by COVID and believed I would recover fully. I had been vaccinated three times as recommended and indeed, I recovered uneventfully.
However, trouble was brewing.
Since my third booster vaccination back in January 2022, things had been changing significantly.
Visceral anxiety had begun to fill my days and this was really odd; I had been a daily meditator for decades. I was often described as a “very calm person”.
Yet at the same time, I was becoming more and more fearful; abnormally fearful of just about everything.
Quite soon, insomnia emerged as another major issue; getting to sleep became harder and harder.
Self-doubt and loss of faith was also on the rise; it was hard for me to know how many of these difficulties were coming from living the past year with major, chronic pain, the 14 acre property we lived on needing regular attention, or how much it could be attributed to my sensitive nature and all the upheavals associated with the COVID lockdowns?
At first, I did not imagine the vaccinations had contributed to all this, even though the rise in anxiety and sleep disorders clearly started straight after that third vaccination. Also, about a week after that third and most recent vaccination in January 2022, I had woken up at 3am with an almost over-whelming surge of anxiety in my stomach, and the urge to empty my bowels. Very odd, I thought at the time...
But there was a lot more to come. Two weeks after recovering from the actual COVID infection, Ian and I were sharing a delightful meal together at a restaurant near Gundagai - Nimbo Fork Lodge, a sort of half-way stop over to Sydney. We ate the same food and really appreciated it; delicious! We were enjoying ourselves on the first evening after leaving home on one of our road trips. Ian was fine; but suddenly, I was not.
A very strong wave surged over me with tingling sensations racing through my head and down into my hands, leaving me feeling like I would faint.
It was so dramatic, I actually wondered if I had been poisoned, and my mind flashed to images of Russian dissidents being done away with.
Ian watched on as I could do nothing else but slide to the restaurant floor.
As I lay prone in the middle of the restaurant, and with his eyes wide in disbelief Ian asked
"How are you feeling? You have gone as white as a sheet”.
I replied, “I feel like someone has injected me intravenously with a bolus of atropine”.
I asked, “What was that drug they gave Putin’s competition, that nerve drug?”
My whole body was now alive with pins and needles and I was very lightheaded. All very suddenly.
Being a doctor, my mind soon turned to more logical explanations… maybe a Transient Ischaemic Attack (mini-stroke) I thought, as I lay on the floor. Maybe I had been so stressed by a year of severe backpain and now this travel, that I had simply overdone it? But then I had felt OK all day! My mind continued to search for an explanation.
I was trying to understand why my cardiovascular system was responding so abnormally.
My heart rate was very low, around 50 beats per minute and yet my Blood Pressure was also very low.
This was really odd.
For a healthy person, if your blood pressure drops, your heart rate will speed up to compensate.
My heart was doing the opposite; I had low blood pressure and a low heart rate. Very odd.
With me collapsed on their floor, naturally the restaurant staff were quite concerned. Also, not surprisingly, all the customers at their tables in the small restaurant were now staring at me. Being in a remote area, the manager wanted to call the air ambulance, but I said I was a doctor and I would prefer to remain on the floor and see if I recovered. Ian reassured them, and eventually, after about half an hour, the sensations and light-headedness diminished. Slowly I sat up and then scrambled back on to my chair. We skipped dessert!
Returning to our accommodation, it took me another 4 hours to recover fully; then I slept uneventfully. The next day I was feeling fine with no trace of the drama that had occurred the night before. Weird…
So on we continued with our journey to Sydney; then ten days later it started again. This time it was mid-morning when I felt the light-headedness coming on. More slowly this time, but with the same tingling sensations. Fearfully, I told Ian, “It’s happening again”.
We consulted with a medical specialist friend and on his advice, high-tailed it to Accident and Emergency. The rest of the day was spent with me on a hospital trolley bed in one of those open-at-the-back hospital gowns while I was examined periodically, and a huge battery of tests were performed; all of which came back normal.
Come the evening, a diagnosis: “Post-Covid Syncope”. I was told they knew very little about it, but to rest and drink lots of fluids. Not particularly re-assuring, but later in the evening I had recovered well enough to leave the hospital. Next day, feeling fine again!
We had bookings to honour; people were expecting us, and we did not want to let the team down, so we kept going with our “Travelling Roadshow” (as we called our multi-city tour of meditation workshops and organisational meetings for our Buddhist Community - Rigpa).
A week later we were in Adelaide where I was in the front row listening to Ian giving an evening talk on meditation.
Feeling happy to be sitting with two long-term cancer survivors who had come to our groups many years before, my mood changed quickly when the same symptoms recurred yet again.
Quite quickly, I realised I could no longer remain upright on my chair and eased myself slowly onto the floor, trying not to disturb the rest of the audience.
Ian could see I was basically OK and kept talking as if nothing was happening.
This time my mind quickly began to wonder if I had something major going on, like an endocrine tumour, a major brain problem, or something even worse. In a helpful synchronicity, a kind friend who had seen me collapse and who had joined in comforting and supporting me, offered me his own Endocrinology appointment for the next day.
Again, the symptoms improved quite quickly and then cleared within four hours. However, next day I did meet with the Endocrinologist; a wonderful old-style physician who asked me questions and examined me thoroughly. His conclusion?
“I think it’s probably one of those Post-COVID syndromes”. He suggested a series of blood tests for when we returned to Melbourne, “to exclude any other rare causes”. This I did, but again, everything measured – and that was a lot - came back normal. Reassuring in one way, but still leaving a mystery unsolved.
We had one more commitment to fulfill, so with some trepidation, next we flew to Brisbane. By now what had started out as an episodic condition was becoming chronic. I was feeling worse and worse.
The dysautonomia was becoming constant – the low heart rate accompanied by low blood pressure, and with this came feelings of fainting, nausea, a severe disinterest in food and ghastly sensations throughout my body.
At the same time, sleep was becoming more and more elusive.
I was exhausted yet “wired”, I was unable to relax physically or mentally, and perhaps worst of all, I could not meditate.
I felt so bad, I said to Ian “I feel like I am dying”.
We just made it home, and I knew I would not be able to travel again until I had recovered.
So now, I was doing my best to manage my ongoing continuous and debilitating back pain, while feeling increasingly miserable with this little recognised or understood syndrome more recently described as Long COVID.
And unhappily, it was about to get even worse…
In the next and final episode, Ruth recounts her darkest days with Long COVID, describes the many things she attempted in her efforts to recover, and then what finally made the difference, leading her back to good health.
RELATED BLOG
Ruth's Story Part 1 - Back Pain
ADVANCE NOTICE – save the dates; full details including bookings available soon…
Meditation Teacher Training in 2024
With Ian and Ruth Gawler
supported by Murray Paterson and Sandy Clinton
Aspiring to teach meditation?
Or keen to expand and deepen your skills?
Are you applying for registration with Meditation Australia and need an approved course?
Ian and Ruth Gawler have been teaching teachers of meditation for decades.
The two trainings for 2024 will both be manual based, be sound in theory and be highly experiential.
There will be many practice sessions where you will be encouraged to experiment with your delivery style and to hone it.
You will be guided and supported to develop confidence and competency.
All programs will be in-person only, fully residential, at the Yarra Valley Living Centre.
WHY NOT ONLINE???
Would you trust a surgeon to operate on your brain that had only trained online?
Enough said...
Meditation Teacher Training – Part 1: Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation
Monday 6th to Friday 10th May, 2024
This is a basic yet thorough training in how to present a meditation course, whether in-person or online.
A comprehensive approach to meditation that covers preparation, relaxation, concentration and mindfulness plus stillness. An approach to meditation that goes to the very essence…
Theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more…
Developed for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further.
Meditation Teacher Training – Part 2: Contemplation
Saturday 2nd to Wednesday 6th November, 2024
- including Melbourne Cup holiday for Victorians
So many people in so many domains recommend the benefits of contemplation.
Yet who is teaching how to do it? Very few it seems…
This training will position you to be able to offer your community something of great value – a reliable way to practice contemplation. This training is also manual based and will enable you to deliver a much-needed program.
Of great personal value, this training is also suitable for those new to teaching meditation, and for those wanting to go further. It too will be highly experiential, as well as delving into theory, delivery, session structures, promotion, finances, the special challenges and needs of online courses, and more.
Criteria to join these Meditation Teacher Trainings
Both trainings are broad. They are both specifically designed to be accessible and valuable to beginners and the more experienced teachers. In past trainings, this mix of participants has made for a very engaging cohort.
It is recommended applicants need at least 2 years of regular meditation practice and some experience with speaking in public. All applicants will be requested to discuss the suitability of the trainings for their needs and situation with our training manager.
MEDITATION IN THE FOREST – 7 day Meditation Retreat
Saturday 22nd to Friday 28th June, 2024
With Ian and Ruth Gawler
supported by Melissa Borich and Sandy Clinton
It is back!
After COVID, lock downs, so many ups and downs, join us for this 7-day retreat.
Relax. Let go.
Immerse yourself in the natural beauty of the Yarra Valley.
Be cared for with delicious plant-based food and plenty of free time.
Be reminded of the theory and practice around meditation as Ian teaches in depth on mindfulness, awareness and stillness. Experience the inherent joy and love that flows from the depths of meditation; those depths that can be reliably reached when we take time out, let go of day-to-day activity, and rest in deep, natural peace.
FULL DETAILS COMING SOON – SAVE THE DATES
