It takes time. For almost all of us. Occasionally someone comes new to meditation and simply falls into it, however, for most of us it takes time. As with many things, the more you do; the more you learn, the more you practice, the better you become.
For meditation, the secret is held within the regularity of the practice, and the time spent practicing. Longer sessions, more frequent sessions do bear fruit.
And the real secret is what happens when you do some extended, dedicated practice. So this week, maybe something to which you have not given much consideration, how to set yourself up for a personal home retreat, but first
Thought for the day – and acknowledging a time when gender was not used so skillfully...
A man needs to retire
As much from his chamber as from society.
I am not solitary whilst I read and write,
Though nobody is with me.
But if a man would be alone,
Let him look at the stars.
In the woods, we return to reason and faith.
There I feel that nothing can befall me in life,
— no disgrace, no calamity,
(leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair.
— my head bathed by the blithe air,
And uplifted into infinite space,
— all mean egotism vanishes.
I become a transparent eye-ball;
I am nothing;
I see all;
The currents of the Universal Being
Circulate through me;
I am part or particle of God.
Emerson
A friend was telling me recently how they were attempting to explain to their boss what happened on a meditation retreat and why they wanted leave to attend. The boss listened with interest, and then replied “you could do all that at home!”
This set my friend to thinking; could I save the effort and money, and do as the boss suggested?
The challenge is, making the effort to go to a retreat is a big part of the process.
The commitment it takes to obtain the leave, gain the support from family for the time out, find the finances, make the bookings...
In truth it is often said by the time you arrive at a retreat, half the benefit has already been gathered.
Then, once at a meditation retreat, everything becomes easy.
Retreats are designed to create an ideal environment in which you can learn more and actually deepen your experience.
You are encouraged to let go of work, computers, social media, and to focus on the meditation. A schedule organises your day, meals are provided, comfortable accommodation, good company, teachings; everything designed to support you.
Against all that, there is tremendous value in a home retreat. Firstly, the convenience, the cost savings and hence the possibility of a short retreat. There is real benefit in a retreat that lasts even half a day, a full day, a weekend or more; and these shorter times are very practical at home.
However, if considering a home retreat, how do we set up at home to mirror what is available at an external retreat and provide the most conducive environment?
First observation – it takes more planning and more discipline at home.
Motivation sets the tone for all we do, and it needs an accompanying strong intention.
Decide if you are preparing for a pure practice retreat, or if you will include listening to or reading supportive teachings.
Set your intention to prepare a schedule and to follow it.
2. Decide upon the intensity of your retreat
How long? Half a day? A day? A weekend? More???
And how much study and practice each day?
3. Make a schedule
Structure the retreat.
This is important.
If you just drift into the day during a home retreat, time will pass quickly and you will look back and wonder where it went. For each session, one and a half hours works well, with 40 minutes of meditation, 10 minutes walking meditation, and another 40 minutes of meditation. A longer, mindful walk or two during the day can be helpful. Do you include some yoga or other stretching exercises? Decide upon start and finish times, and where the meals will fit. Then follow your schedule!
4. Creating solitude
The answer: Do the best you can, and accept the rest. Depending upon who you live with, and where you live, the notion of solitude may be more or less real.
If you do live on your own, you can put an Out of Office message on the computer, change your mobile’s message to suit, determine to avoid the TV or radio, and effectively isolate yourself. Then you live with whatever sounds drift into your home from the outside world.
If you live with company, then their buy in can make or break a home retreat.
Young children are a clear challenge, but not insurmountable.
With a committed partner, you can structure the day so you have some time to yourself, and accept you probably need to give some time to the children as well.
Then they need to become a part of the retreat and noises from within the home need to be accepted.
They become part of the practice; part of the learning, and the deepening.
5. Prepare
Stock up the kitchen; maybe pre-prepare some meals.
Complete the list of all those things “that need doing” so you can feel comfortable to focus on the retreat.
6. Tell those close to you
Now need to make a major announcement – unless you chose to – however, it can be helpful to tell family and close friends of your intention. This raises the accountability. Some people do post their intention on social media and request support; this has worked well for some.
7. Take a sense of joy into the retreat
Be kind to yourself.
If you do make the effort to create a home retreat, celebrate doing what is both good for you, and as a consequence, good for those around you.
The bottom line is, a home retreat can be very valuable, very beneficial, very doable.
And speaking personally, I am about to enter into a 10 day, personal home retreat while the beloved is away on a formal retreat of her own.
So wish me well, and do consider following suit – even a half day or a day of home retreat can be very worthwhile.
If you are interested in making the extra effort to attend a formal retreat, Ruth and I are offering two this year, plus we have our Meditation Teacher Training coming up shortly; here are the details:
COMING EVENTS
Is this your time? Your time for a deeper dive into the experience of a meditation retreat – some time out for you - the heart and essence of meditation?
Or maybe your time to learn the wonderful skill of teaching meditation to others?
Seven day Meditation Retreat – The Heart and Essence of Meditation
June 7 – 13
Everything about this retreat has been designed for experiencing what meditation has to offer more directly, more fully. Take time out, leave behind the activities and concerns of daily life and enter into an environment that supports the process of deepening the direct, inner experience. A gentle blend of teachings, guided practices, contemplation, optional yoga, and more... This retreat will offer the culmination of all the study, practice and teaching of meditation with which I have been engaged these past 50 years.
Meditation Teacher Training (MBSM)
May 11 - 15
What a privilege to teach others to meditate. Maybe you want to do this as a new career; maybe this is something to offer within your workplace or elsewhere? These trainings are approved by Meditation Australia and help meet their requirements for registration. And you learn so much and deepen your own practice once you start to teach.
A wonderful thing to do... Apply here
Three day Meditation Retreat - Deep Natural Peace
November 6 - 8
A moment’s peace. Deep natural peace. Sometimes we just need some time out. Time to step back. Slow down. Reconnect with the practice. Be in nature. Reconnect with our selves. Be refreshed. Experience Deep Natural Peace.
The retreat and trainings are all held amidst the natural beauty and serenity of the Upper Yarra Valley at the delightful Yarra Valley Living Centre.
So is this your time?
Details and applications to join the retreat and the trainings are available
via the website
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