21 May 2012

Ian Gawler Blog: A Humorous Ass


Thought for the week:


Everything will be OK in the end.
If it is not OK, it is not the end.


THE PASTOR'S ASS

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race
and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS A BIG WINNER!

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper's headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is ....  

Being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery,
even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you will be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day.

NEWS


1. Workshops in Melbourne next weekend with the Gawler Foundation: 

Sat & Sun July 26 & 27, Hawthorn

The Mind that Changes Everything is a weekend where we delve into the workings of the mind, check out recent research and new techniques and share in the theory and practice of affirmations, imagery , contemplation and the deeper experiences of meditation.

Based on my book of the same name, The Mind that Changes Everything is ideal for beginners, lapsed meditators and the experienced. The weekend is highly experiential with good time for questions and discussions.

Join Ruth, like minded people and myself for a weekend enhancing the power and potential of your mind.

TO BOOK:  link to the Gawler Foundation , click here,   or  FOR ENQUIRIES: ring 03 59671730

2.  BRISBANE WORKSHOPS MID JUNE at the RELAXATION CENTRE


June 14th  Evening public talk: Eating Well Being Well 
Including the latest research findings (I just attended and spoke at the International Nutrition in Medicine conference) as well a comprehensive guide to how to prepare really healthy food that is easy and tasty. Lots of time for questions, and good for those on the healing path too.

June 15th Day workshop: Understanding Death & Helping the Dying
A day workshop for Health Professionals, caregivers and others. Based on the workshop I co-presented with Sogyal Rinpoche at the recent "Happiness and its Causes" conference.

June 16th & 17th Weekend workshop
The Mind that Changes Everything
A weekend focusing on using the power of the mind along with meditation and imagery techniques using ground breaking scientific research.

Where: The Relaxation Centre, 15 South Pine Rd, Alderley, Brisbane, 4051 Hide/Show Map

Bookings & Info: Click here for the link and go to the 14th -17th on the calendar
or call The Relaxation Centre on (07) 3856 3733

3. What has happened to our kid’s bowels?

Researchers claim to have found the largest increase of ulcerative colitis ever reported in a population – and it is in Victorian children.

A new report published has found the incidence of UC has jumped 11-fold in the last 60 years, most prominently since the mid 1990s. Despite rates being relatively stable for the first 40 years after 1950, the incidence per 10,000 children aged 16 and under increased from around 0.15 in 1990 to 1.61 in 2009, Melbourne gastroenterologists found.

The dramatic increase in UC paralleled a 15-fold increase in paediatric Crohn’s disease in Victoria in the last 30 years and had been observed in other parts of the world, they said.

Rates of UC in Victoria’s Barwon region were found by a recent study to be among the highest in the world.

The “parallel and rapid” increases in Crohn’s disease and UC “argue for a common environmental factor in their pathogenesis,” the authors said. Microbial factors had been implicated, but the identity of any marked environmental change in the late 1980s or early 1990s remained “elusive”.

Editor’s note: Does anyone think the dietary habits of children may have changed?

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for such lighthearted enlightenment. This was and still is my journey.

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  2. When you read about the link between the increase in autism with associated bowel problems, the discovery of viral infections in the gut which may be linked to vaccines and the way Wakefield was discredited you will find out you are up against powerful companies when you ask these questions. There is research that has backed up Wakefield’s propositions yet still governments force vaccinations on children. Even questionable vaccines are touted out and sold with scare tactics and government backing. Pigs might fly before you can get to the bottom of this problem.

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  3. Of course children are not eating what they were 30 years ago. Try and go out and find some healthy takeaway food - very difficult - but plenty of junk foods available. Mothers are too busy and too unaware of the value of healthy food - until some illness occurs. Children are offered junk food as a treat so is bilt into their minds that junk is good. People need to wake up that there is an epidemic of bad food related illnesses. Denise

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  4. Don’t you have enough controversy already? http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/MMR_VaccineTHROWER.pdf 2005 report: MMR vaccine, Thimerosal, late onset autism. (Thimerosal is a mercury-containing organic compound.)
    I sent a hair sample from my 5 year old grandson, who has autism and enterocolitis, to Interclinical Laboratories in Sydney which does hair analysis. This revealed toxic heavy metal and mineral imbalances and the report showed he has already has measurable levels of mercury yet he does not eat fish. The more questions I ask the more I become overwhelmed with conflicting information, and a sense of obfuscation. You could be opening a can of worms.

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  5. This was a humour-ass blog!!! Thanks for the laugh with an insight

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  6. Fantastic bit of frivolity. Great for a laugh.

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  7. Ian - I am familiar with the ass story, but didn't see it coming this time, so it was delightfully fresh.
    Pray continue your ass-ertiveness.
    John Dooley BVSc

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  8. I was sitting on my ass as I read about the Bishop's f-ass-ination and got carried away by it.

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